C Tann-Starr's Outside Blog


The best part of leasing a storage unit in NYC? The "no dead bodies or guns" speech (LMAO)


Carolyn Tann Starr 2011

The best part of leasing a storage unit in NYC? The "no dead bodies or guns" speech (LMAO)

If someone had told me I would be laughing my a$$ off with the people I'm entrusting my fave stuff with while I run amok for the next couple of months I would have YouTubed it (silly grin). Seems you actually have to be told no dead bodies or guns. They make you initial and read your storage lease/contract while placing emphasis on being serious about the no dead bodies, perishables and guns (which is said in very somber tones and a mad serious straight face).

I'm still cracking up about it and now may have to start carrying my firearms with me while I move the fun stuff like my studio equipment. I have four firearms and a full carry permit so this might get very interesting because I can't leave them home for the movers or painters to accidentally discover (e.g. my busy-body friends who are packing my closets up while I goof off and do things like shower, eat and blog - LOL). ;-)

Only in New York, eh?

FYI: I got four offers for my Glock. WTF? Who started that rumor? I'm not selling anything. I have been giving a lot of stuff away because I like traveling light but never the martial or defensive toys. At some point I am going to have to come back here with the movers and bring my books, toys and paintings home. Before that happens I have to sort the last 19 years of stuff out, get my butt to FL and buy some more furniture (so I can actually put my books on shelves and undies in drawers - LOL).

The FL guest room is still completely naked, the den has four items in it, none of us have a chest of draws (eyes rolling, melodramatic sigh). I may even be turning into a garage band because I don't have a new recording studio to work from (sigh). That is irking me to no end... Maybe a tricked out shed in my naked backyard will do? My kids would certainly love it because there's nothing there (LOL). Think of all the hot wheel cars we could park in it (LOL). ;-)

That reminds me to (a) call Hubby and get him to buy a little-minion-proof safe for the FL house for my sculpting knives and music masters and (b) go to the shooting range and shoot off the rest of my bullets for the lazy ride down south.

My girlfriends want to go to the Fun House again to kick my butt for becoming a southern transplant (LOL). I packed my swords and have to get my law enforcement gal pals to hold them for me for when I do return to NYC. I plan on going to Tai Chi class while I am here. I love my pal Chuy. He's amazing. We've been friends since I was 17 years old. I'm going to really miss being his student (sigh). At least he'll have another vacation spot, eh? I plan on playing Hostess from Hell because I hate not having my friends near (LOL). A whole bunch of fun New Yorkers are gonna be coming south once I get settled. If you thought my blog was whacked before - you guys aint seen nothing yet. Seriously... (happy sigh) :-)

Time to wrap this up. I have to go to Target. They are having a sale on bins and I need to pack my paint supplies away. I'm actually driving several portraits down south (because I have to finish them and come back for the gallery and Comic Con - LOL).

I like my new storage spot because I needed some place with climate control to store my paintings and fave books (Psst... I have a law library that I have to relocate - LOL). Right now I'm goofing off for dinner. I'm in Starbucks escaping my gal pals who are in my apartment "shopping" (e.g. squabbling over my home office equipment). They want my book binders, scanners, four high speed printers and will not  stop trying to steal my vintage Mac Cube (LOL).I already packed away the urban fantasy collection so they are out of luck looking for the cool RWA-NYC autographred books (LOL).

I kept trying to give the TVs away and it wasn't until the flat screen disappeared that they realized I was serious about moving. Now people are even calling my neighbor to leave messages about the file cabinets. I know because she caught me in the hall when I stopped by to ask her to hold some recording equipment for me (LMAO). Yeah, this move is going to be mad fun when the word gets out that everything must go.

Um... except the garage spot. I need that for the car I'm leaving here so I can have wheels when I come back on business/pleasure. Yeah... I'm coming back to visit NYC. How can I not? I love NY. Seriously... (LOL). ;-)





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Comment balloon 6 commentsC Tann-Starr • September 21 2011 05:47PM


Did you really crack up with the explanation of no dead bodies? I guess you would not store your guns with the dead people. I can just see that grin.

Keep having fun!

Posted by Margaret Rome Baltimore 410-530-2400, Sell Your Home With Margaret Rome ( HomeRome Realty 410-530-2400) about 9 years ago

This is for real???> WTFF?

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) about 9 years ago

Carolyn,  LOL... I just saw a funny ad for a storage company on the subway.

In my Father's house are many rooms. John 14:2

It's obvious Jesus didn't live in New York City (something like that)

Posted by Mitchell J Hall, Lic Associate RE Broker - Manhattan & Brooklyn (Compass) about 9 years ago

LOL @ Mitchell. That is too funny!

Laura, I'm gonna be bouncing between four states so I will be back (I just wont have my old place while here - LOL). My gal pals and cousins will be hosting me when I'm running amok in NYC. Melodious is my TX host. My parents, sister and brother are my SC hosts. I'll be hosting peeps while in FL. You have to come down, stay and play with me. ;-)

Margaret, it was a dark and twisty, snarky bit of fun. I'm still laughing and going back to drop off more paintings (LOL).

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 9 years ago

LMAO....wow...do they really have you sign a No dead bodies" clause in your lease?  Good luck with your move....how exciting for you.

Posted by Aida Pinto, Real Estate Broker (562) 884-6196 (Independent Real Estate Broker) about 9 years ago

Aida, learn something new every day, eh? It appears some New Yorkers will store just about anything... (LMAO). ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 9 years ago

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