C Tann-Starr's Outside Blog


When did my readers replace Melodious as the boss of me? (I missed that memo but here's your Meme)

Carolyn Tann Starr 2011

When did my readers replace Melodious as the boss of me? (I missed that memo but here's your Meme)

I'm kinda in love with you guys because you make life so much more interesting when you e-mail and call. I look forward to the daily dialog but we have to make a few little rules if you want me to do Memes and casually talk to strange people on the phone...

Rule number one: If you're going to call me from another country Google to find out what time it is in New York because I do have to sleep once in a while (LOL).

Rule number two: If you want a call back you have to give me some time (e.g. wait your turn) because I get a lot of phone calls and my friends are serious text fiends. If you are going to text me you must leave your full name with your text message because I do not know you and ending it with "Kim" doesn't help me figure out which Kim I am responding to. Is it Kim from my Rolodex, ActiveRain, childhood, the bakery or school? (LOL)

Some of you habitually call from restricted phone lines, don't leave a number then get cranky because my redial doesn't work and you miss the fact that I CAN'T return your call. Calling me three times to say you called previously wont help me if you don't leave a bloody call back number so leave one KIM (LOL).

Rule number three: Just because you leave a number doesn't mean I am going to call it. If I don't call you back you have to remember that you are a total complete stranger who I may not wish to speak to. Do not get nasty or testy if I decide to remain silent. Maybe I'm debating about calling you back and you kill your chances by acting stupid in my voice mail. Maybe I'm looking into what you're asking me and your impatience makes me say "screw you, very busy, next caller..."

I do say things like that. I'm 45 years old and periodically cranky (LOL). Besides, you could be an axe murderer... What makes you think I am obligated to respond to anything you say or do? I'm not you know. Familiarity with a blog sometimes breeds contempt in a reader because they think they can say or do things based upon the personality a writer projects. You have to pause to reflect upon the fact that you don't know me. You know of me. You know about me but you don't know me... I don't know you... We all get to pick and choose how we respond or fail to respond to each other. Pretending to be nice doesn't mean I wont kick your a$$ if I feel it is warranted. I am very protective of myself, friends and my family and not a nice person if you piss me off. Word of advice: all professionals pretend to be nice people when they meet you. Repeat that line every time you pick up the phone to call a stranger who runs a business, then take some time to find out who it is you are trying to do business with. The fun of being a transparent writer like me is the fact that you attract and repel people with each post you publish in cyberspace. I wont blink twice when I tell you no or chat about my bitch switch so don't ever romanticize your blog writers or make extra excuses for us because when you find out we are who we say we are and not what you wish us to be the disappointment falls in your lap, not ours. Our blogging helps you discover us and know things in part, not in full. Friendship is what places the relationship on a deeper level. Being a client does not automatically make one a friend. What I do with a client and what I do with a friend is two very different and distinct things... ;-)

For the uninitiated, I habitually answer my e-mail in public when it suits me so there is a reason why I wrote that. Here's some more answers to your collective Q&A (yeah... I really am doing the readership Meme and letting you guys be the boss of me for ten minutes - LOL): 

(a) I joke around a lot but I really am a pretty blunt person (with lots of flaws) so don't romanticize cyber-lebrities because we probably wont live up to your expectations. I love hearing your suggestions and trying to honor your requests (when I can) however there will be times when I simply go off the grid and live my life privately and quite happily will ignore my phone for days on end and not give a damn.

Yes, it is very inconvenient (just ask my mother) but it's how I roll. If I need down time I take it. If you do not wish to accept my apologies for not getting back to you sooner, it's okay, but don't bitch about it later on because we all are simply living our lives as best we can. I can't be here for everyone, but I can on occasion be here for someone. I do not always blog about what I do for and withpeople so if your goal is to get me to put you on my blog be careful how you approach that subject. I'm not into manipulation (unless I'm trying to trick the wee people - LOL) so it may backfire on you because I talk about what I genuinely like and what genuinely interests me. You want to buy an advertisement? Call ActiveRain. They have sponsor space (LOL). I only embed links and widgets that I like or use. Make something that I like and I'm pretty sure I'll embed you. :-)

(b) I have two cell phones: One for business (see the number on my blog) and one for personal (less than 30 people listed). I am in the "do not call registry" so don't add me to your database, you will get in BIG trouble. I am the type of person who hates stupid solicitation messages generated by computer eating up my cell phone minutes while I try to listen to my voice mail. I will report you because we do not have a business relationship although we may have a social media relationship (not the same thing).

I write. You read. Sometimes we talk. If you actually have a business need we can talk and mutually decide to enter into a business relationship. One person can't decide there is a relationship, it takes both parties to agree. If you are trying to solicit for your business please be advised I usually ignore the people who claim they can do lots of things for me that I did not ask for. Seriously. You'd do better to introduce yourself by e-mail than call my cell phone. Trust me on this (I can be a handful if you piss me off).

If I want something I usually announce it on my blog and acknowledge that there are a lot of nice, smart people out there who may want to help me. If you present it in a way that makes sense I'll thank you for it. If you start by telling me you can get me on page one of Google when I am already on page one of Google (plus you found me by using a search engine) then you are going to get your a$$ handed to you for wasting my time and cell phone minutes.

I like talking to people and actually answer my own phone unless I'm driving (then who ever is in the car answers my phone for me). Never assume the person on the line is me until you confirm it is me or you may blurt out something embarrassing to Sana (or a list of other inner circle peeps - LOL).

My hubby once called to yell at me for something that I did that really pissed him off and my girlfriend Stacey couldn't get a word in edgewise for over two minutes. By the time he realized it wasn't me he was yelling at at the top of his lungs the cat was out of the bag and the damage done. We laugh about it now but it wasn't funny then. Just because some chick says hello doesn't mean you have who you think you have. Find out who you have and say who you are. It will go well if you are direct and to the point when you call me. I like blunt people. They are brief, concise and to the point when they want something. "I like your blog" are four words that do not take twenty minutes to convey. I like that you like my blog but get to the point of the call. We can hook up at Starbucks and not waste my cell phone minutes (LOL).  

(c) I frequently let my close friends boss me around because they are a lot smarter than I am. If you are going to grow you have to surround yourself with people who challenge you to think outside of the box. If you are trying to figure out how to become my friend, start by saying "I want to be friends." That puts you in the acquaintance pile and gets the ball rolling (LOL). I'm not easy so I will ask you, "Why?" Give me an honest answer and not stupid shit you think I want to hear. Do you know what my latest new friend said? "Because you have an interesting way with words and don't hide your crappy attitude. You actually admit to sometimes not washing your dishes and blogging live from the laundry room. Who does that on-line? You don't care what people think. You just share whatever and move on to the next random thought. Reading your blog is like hanging out with a virtual roommate"

Yup. She's a keeper (LOL). I like discovering real people too... Life is short. You should be living and experiencing it on every level you can because one day you are going to run out of time and find yourself wishing you had taken that chance to do something someone new tried to introduce you to simply because something you said clicked with them and they thought enough of you to send you an invitation. Spending time with people matters. I have driven over 200 miles just to have lunch with friends. I know people who are ten minutes from the function and wont go. They don't see investing in people as something worthy of their valuable time because they have commission checks and referral chasing on the brain. They will advertise about how great their firm is and what a stellar professional they are but would they travel a great distance just to have lunch or a play-date with kids in tow? Hmm... Some do. Some don't. I do it all the time and don't always blog about it... I enjoy my private moments. 

(d) I like to collect brilliant people who understand witty banter because I am facetious and occasionally like to be amused by the acerbic tongue of well rounded English majors (LOL). I get off on irony (and frequently have inappropriate thoughts that I periodically share with the people who get me). Sometimes, I screw around on my blog directly answering people who know that I am talking to and about them. My friends and I will blog across platforms messing with each other. If you don't follow us then you wont pick up on that little detail. You may find yourself scratching your head perplexed wondering what a post is about.

Sometimes, a post is nothing other than the random musings of a writer answering a bunch of e-mail in public because having to say the same thing repeatedly to different people in private will eat away too much of her social media day (LOL). Last answer before I go: 5'6" 155 pounds, ambidextrous... ;-)


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Comment balloon 10 commentsC Tann-Starr • March 03 2011 01:22PM


Woot Woot!!!  Nicely spaken, and worthy of repeating... "periodically".

(I was gonna phone you to say so... but I was too afraid!)

Posted by Alan May, There's no place like home. (Jameson Sotheby's International Realty) over 9 years ago

LOL @ Alan. You're one of my bay-bays. All my Club Chaos peeps can call me (LOL). ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 9 years ago


Rather eclectic emotions! Today.

You know you can get cell phones that have 2 lines.


Posted by William J. Archambault, Jr. (The Real Estate Investment Institute ) over 9 years ago

Bill, I'm holding out for when the iPhone gets to Sprint. ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 9 years ago

Love back at cha - :) You rock C!  BTW - I think you left something out.......

Posted by Anna Banana Kruchten CRS CRB, Phoenix Broker, 602-380-4886 (HomeSmart Real Estate BR030809000) over 9 years ago

Anna, I will admit to deleting three small paragraphs and writing the e-mail (LOL). ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 9 years ago

Hmm, something definitely set you off. lol  I can see how people may "think" that they know you based on what you opt to share.  You come across as a very real person.  It is hard to believe that telemarketers don't have more common sense.  Hopefully the various "theys" will read this and take heed.

As far as me, I'm not going to call you right now.  But, I will think about the wonderful vocabulary that I have learned from you while I am on a turtle run tomorrow. 

Posted by Sondra Meyer:, See It. Experience It. Live It. (Star View Real Estate ) over 9 years ago

Awesome! I love my turtle runs. I have to post the neighborhoods I've been invading. Will lurk on your blog and see what kind of eye candy you come up with. BTW, Sondra, you can call me anytime you want. We're friends. ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 9 years ago

How I love to read your rants. And, as usual, I remain in awe of your prolificness.  LOL  Your fingers must fly over that keyboard.

Posted by Sandy Fenton, ABR, ASP, CDPE, GRI -Westchester NY - Condos to Luxury Homes (Keller Williams NY Realty * Licensed Associate Broker) over 9 years ago

LOL @ Sandy. Nothing like habitually saying what you really mean, eh? (LOL) ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) over 9 years ago

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