Life With Wee People: A Tale Of Three Phones
Stephen, the Minion Blur may be the ultimate wee people electronics tester. There is no screw too small that those tiny hands will not devise some clever manner in which to extract it. A charming deviant of limited vocabulary, what he lacks in diction he makes up for with non-verbal clues and an exuberant curiosity with a PDD-NOS twist.
We all know how much I loved my Samsung Rant. It was red. It was beautiful. It survived the microwave and toaster. You have to understand how traumatic this is for me. That phone was a real work horse and housed every important contact, friend and family member I knew. No matter how many times he tried to flush it, a three day drying out was all it took to get back in business. It survived multiple flings from a window, seven trips to float like a boat in the toilet (inclusive of a few flushes), nine baths and two showers.
God loves little children and fools because that phone was blessed with staying power. There had to be an angel assigned to save it. It took a while to be blessed with such a trooper of a phone.
When he murdered my Motorola in the bathtub I reluctantly migrated to Samsung because Sprint was running a special. I loved my red Samsung SPH-M500 but alas, that was totaled by his hands by another toss from my bedroom window soon after the toasting event. Did I mention this is a 5 story drop? A snow drift saved it the first time (LOL). I think because it survived his attempt at toasting it and it worked with the crack I decided I'd give Samsung a serious chance. I don't think any manufacturer (maybe military?) runs tests for those kinds of experiments regarding height drops. If you guys do, let us in on it. Feel free to give them to a special ed pre-k kid with an unpredictable attitude (LOL). They can be very self-directed and single minded when they embrace an idea. :-)
Unfortunately, the phone with the crack became the Blur minion's fave and his tiny mind perceived that mysterious fact of it still working to mean (a) it had to be destroyed and (b) it was okay to aim our most used items at the opening of any cracked window because our "minion training" meant we would race down the stairs, circle the building and climb fire escapes if we had to in order to retrieve such necessary items as our house keys, cordless phones, remote controls and beloved cells. If you think your kids aren't training you, think again (LOL). If we closed all the windows to keep our personal effects inside he still had his fun. He disassembled, drowned or attempted to toast the items of his deviant desires instead.
The ritualistic sacrifice of our electronics is alive and well... Stephen has struck again... You can only drown a cell phone so many times before it gives up the digital ghost. My Rant died a valiant death.
Now I am sitting here staring at two cell phones: the LG (Version LX265V05). One in black and one in blue. They have to pivot to the right to Qwerty open. I'm used to flipping to the left for Qwerty texting. I keep thinking my bad pivot/flip habits are going to cause me to break the slide by doing it wrong before I do it the correct way. If you do something over a thousand times your body works on automatic even if your brain knows better. Motor memory...
I really wanted a Red Rant but Sprint dropped it from the line up. I don't know if Samsung makes them anymore. I am devastated in a very strange way because I'm a social media slave with set digital habits (LOL). I write this also knowing that I have to sit and manually enter over 600 entries because between all of Stephen's manic texting of garbled messages to the people in my address book it appears Stephen managed to unsubscribe me from my wireless backup service. I may have to drive to people's homes to get their numbers because I can't call them and am tired of waiting for them to call me.
Little Dude memorized my phone codes. How whacked is that? VERY (LOL). He's three. He can't read words but recognizes numbers and he can do what you show him, even if you didn't mean to teach him (ROTFL). Mikey went for the Eco. He's still a Samsung man. He's been hiding his phone on top of the fridge. :-)
I hope the LG survives...
I bet you're wondering why two phones?
Simple. The LG maxes out at 600 entries... I have to split up my life so the entries can fit. I have more than 600 and I use them (LOL). The business phone is the blue one and the rest of my life phone is the black one. A few of you have made both handsets (LOL). :-)
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