So, There's This Car Seat Sitting In The Middle Of My Futon...
The thought is slowly driving me insane. Have I inadvertently created a Minion Throne to rival the toilet bowl experience in my apartment? Never know... I hear 3 year olds are a breed unto themselves, are fickle with their loyalties, have brilliant if unorthodox problem solving capacities when they really want something you tell them they can't have and periodically suffer from Daffy Duck syndrome.
Who knows how a change in routine affects any of them. They are coded with the secret essence of a 3 year old (LOL).
See that linen pushed off to the side partially trapped by his seat? When I tried to remove it so I could change the sheets he started yelling, "Mine, Mine, MINE, MINE, MIIIIIIIIINE!" and had the nerve to wrestle me for it. Little Dude does not care if you are bigger than him. He will fight you. Shorty isn't feeling well, so of course I let him win and left the pooh sheet off to the side to swipe his planes, trains, automobiles and truck linen when he is not looking.
Problem is he wont stop looking at me... He is really, really looking at me. Like I'm a chicken leg... (LOL)
I wait and wait and wait and am starting to wonder when is the last time I saw him blink? Hmm... Maybe now would be a good time to offer Noah something to snack on (as if I need an excuse to run like hell from a 3 year old (LOL). There are only four rooms. Where the Hell am I going to go?
So, there's this car seat sitting in the middle of my futon but now it's got this little person in it who wont stop following me around the apartment and staring at me. I figure if I sit still long enough he'll get bored and go check on Noah. I think he's on to me wanting to confiscate that sheet. He is not having any part of that (LOL). He sits when I sit and stands when I stand, moving when I move... Every time I stop walking a noggin bounces off my butt.
What is up with that? Maybe we should take a nap. A nap sounds really, really good. Seriously... I am being stalked by a wee people and it is hard work figuring that out (LOL). We have four rooms and an alcove for Shorty to choose from but somehow, in his hour of protect the blankie need, Potty Man has decided he must not let me out of his sight. He is wearing his fave Cars undies and dutifully going to the bathroom. They must not be soiled. He likes his undies and keeps reminding me he has Cars...
Hmm... I wonder what he's thinking...
There is suspicion in his gaze as Stephen, the Minion Blur, wonders why I am not doing what I normally do. After all, I do this every singe day around lunch time. We've been home from school on break for a whole week. He knows the routine. Something is amiss. Shorty does not seem to be in the mood for surprises. He seems to be exceptionally tired today. Bags are forming under his eyes because he did not sleep well, yet Stephen knows I am supposed to be logged into my social media accounts chatting with clients, working on the upcoming books, playing with my friends and networking, networking, networking...
It appears that if Mommy is not typing madly on her laptop while Skyping with her British friends and watching Netflix BBC programs (like Dr. Who) with her gal pals, the world as the Blur Minions knows it will be spinning off it's digital axis. He likes my friends in the UK. They think he is cute, chipper, plucky and Step thinks they have such wonderful accents. He giggles when they talk. He also loves my Texas friends. Melodious has such wonderful diction and we laugh a lot. ;-)
Sometimes, I think that is why he obsesses over the speed dial. He likes having conversations with the people who live in my computer. He knows they are real because he sees himself living in my computer in Facebook, YouTube and ActiveRain, among other sites (LOL).
So, I am blogging away while Shorty supervises me in silence. Noah is lost in YouTube. I have heard this one before and I fear I may be starting to script SpongeBob as well (LOL). You know you are in trouble when you can say the next line without thinking and think even more lines without saying them. I love my kids but I am in Car Seat and YouTube Hell. Where am I going to go? There is no where to run and no place to hide and I have to keep marching the 3 year old into the bathroom because today is a very challenging potty day.
You have no idea what I'd be willing to pay for a pull up right now.
My digital kingdom for a pull up. Seriously.
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