C Tann-Starr's Outside Blog

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So, There's This Car Seat Sitting In The Middle Of My Futon...

 

So, There's This Car Seat Sitting In The Middle Of My Futon...

The thought is slowly driving me insane. Have I inadvertently created a Minion Throne to rival the toilet bowl experience in my apartment? Never know... I hear 3 year olds are a breed unto themselves, are fickle with their loyalties, have brilliant if unorthodox problem solving capacities when they really want something you tell them they can't have and periodically suffer from Daffy Duck syndrome.

Who knows how a change in routine affects any of them. They are coded with the secret essence of a 3 year old (LOL).

See that linen pushed off to the side partially trapped by his seat? When I tried to remove it so I could change the sheets he started yelling, "Mine, Mine, MINE, MINE, MIIIIIIIIINE!" and had the nerve to wrestle me for it. Little Dude does not care if you are bigger than him. He will fight you. Shorty isn't feeling well, so of course I let him win and left the pooh sheet off to the side to swipe his planes, trains, automobiles and truck linen when he is not looking.

Problem is he wont stop looking at me... He is really, really looking at me. Like I'm a chicken leg... (LOL)

I wait and wait and wait and am starting to wonder when is the last time I saw him blink? Hmm...  Maybe now would be a good time to offer Noah something to snack on (as if I need an excuse to run like hell from a 3 year old (LOL). There are only four rooms. Where the Hell am I going to go?

So, there's this car seat sitting in the middle of my futon but now it's got this little person in it who wont stop following me around the apartment and staring at me. I figure if I sit still long enough he'll get bored and go check on Noah. I think he's on to me wanting to confiscate that sheet. He is not having any part of that (LOL). He sits when I sit and stands when I stand, moving when I move...  Every time I stop walking a noggin bounces off my butt.

What is up with that? Maybe we should take a nap. A nap sounds really, really good. Seriously... I am being stalked by a wee people and it is hard work figuring that out (LOL). We have four rooms and an alcove for Shorty to choose from but somehow, in his hour of protect the blankie need, Potty Man has decided he must not let me out of his sight. He is wearing his fave Cars undies and dutifully going to the bathroom. They must not be soiled. He likes his undies and keeps reminding me he has Cars...

Hmm... I wonder what he's thinking...

There is suspicion in his gaze as Stephen, the Minion Blur, wonders why I am not doing what I normally do. After all, I do this every singe day around lunch time. We've been home from school on break for a whole week. He knows the routine. Something is amiss. Shorty does not seem to be in the mood for surprises. He seems to be exceptionally tired today. Bags are forming under his eyes because he did not sleep well, yet Stephen knows I am supposed to be logged into my social media accounts chatting with clients, working on the upcoming books, playing with my friends and networking, networking, networking...

It appears that if Mommy is not typing madly on her laptop while Skyping with her British friends and watching Netflix BBC programs (like Dr. Who) with her gal pals, the world as the Blur Minions knows it will be spinning off it's digital axis. He likes my friends in the UK. They think he is cute, chipper, plucky and Step thinks they have such wonderful accents. He giggles when they talk. He also loves my Texas friends. Melodious has such wonderful diction and we laugh a lot. ;-)

Sometimes, I think that is why he obsesses over the speed dial. He likes having conversations with the people who live in my computer. He knows they are real because he sees himself living in my computer in Facebook, YouTube and ActiveRain, among other sites (LOL).

So, I am blogging away while Shorty supervises me in silence. Noah is lost in YouTube. I have heard this one before and I fear I may be starting to script SpongeBob as well (LOL). You know you are in trouble when you can say the next line without thinking and think even more lines without saying them. I love my kids but I am in Car Seat and YouTube Hell. Where am I going to go? There is no where to run and no place to hide and I have to keep marching the 3 year old into the bathroom because today is a very challenging potty day. 

You have no idea what I'd be willing to pay for a pull up right now.

My digital kingdom for a pull up. Seriously.

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Comment balloon 9 commentsC Tann-Starr • February 22 2010 11:52AM

Comments

"C" ---- I had to smile as I read your post today -- I do remember those days, but let me say, --it was a few years ago.  Hang in there,Mom.

                                                                   
                                                                  

Posted by Liz Loadholt, Realtor--Broker-in-charge - Trainer--Relocation Director Covering SC (Liz Loadholt- AgentOwned Realty- Covering SC) almost 9 years ago

ROFLMAO You definitely set yourself up.  He is now Simba on the top of the cliff and you are in his kingdom girlfriend.  Give my nephews both a huge hug and tell his majesty hello from Aunt Paddy

Posted by Paddy (Patricia) Pizappi, Real Estate Associate Broker Hudson Valley NY (Better Homes and Gardens Rand Realty) almost 9 years ago

You never should have tried to take that sheet from him, you were just asking for trouble from the start of that situation.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) almost 9 years ago

C- I am laughing, what a cute story. I remember potty training days for 6 kids! Each one of our kids was potty trained by 18 months old cause I don't like to clean poopy diapers once they stop nursing. The real food just stinks too much going out. Each one of the kids got their potty throne will the music and bells, then naked for a full day and we used the book, Potty Training in Less Than A Day. And it worked on all 6 kids. One day of commitment from me, and it was done! Katerina

Posted by Katerina Gasset, Get It Done For Me Virtual Services (Get It Done For Me Virtual Services ) almost 9 years ago

HAHAHA! OMG! I can laugh as I read these, but if I saw it in person I'd think SOMEONE had lost their ever-lovin mind! I was a mean mom... yes, I admit it. Tantrums were a direct link to loss of privileges. And I'd actually wait until she asked to do something, then remind her of "said incident" when she was told she'd be losing upcoming privileges >=)   Yep. Mean mom right here! LOL

Posted by Lisa Hill, Daytona Beach Real Estate (Florida Property Experts) almost 9 years ago

Lisa, Lisa, Lisa, please be my Nanny. Please? (LOL) ;-)

Katerina, Noah caught on so well but Stephen appears to be holding out for something. What? I have no idea but I hope he finds it soon because I have to roll up the rugs and take them outside. Potty training or pet training? Which is more difficult? I have no idea (LOL).

JL, truer words have never been spoken (ROTFLMAO). Shorty has me trained. Even now, knowing they will be in school until the afternoon, I hesitate to venture to the laundry room with his fave sheet in tow. I keep thinking: Sheets or rugs sheets or rugs... Do the rugs, do the rugs, do the rugs . It was the dramatic woe is me expression that had me cracking up yesterday. Potty Man was suffering and I was trying not to laugh at them racing each other for the toilet. When Noah got there first Step dived into the bath tub. He was desperate not to soil his Cars so I had to clean it three times (LOL).

Paddy, set up may be an understatement. My kids held me hostage yesterday. Now I am afraid to order Chinese food from my fave spot. Stephen may protest the Stephen way... I should film that (LMAO). ;-)

Liz, my life is lived one day at a time. I schedule it three months in advance but live it one day at a time (LOL).

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) almost 9 years ago

LOL!  These stories made me laugh.  I was a mean mom as well, but not with potty training.  Heck - I am still called a mean mom!  LOL  That boy is counting the days when he goes off to college in the Fall.  LOL  He doesn't know it yet, but he's gonna miss me like crazy (just wait until he gets too sick to get out of bed!)  :-)  Yeeaahhhh . . . I'm gonna miss him too.  He'll always be my heart walking around on two legs.

Enjoy those sons of yours, they'll be off on their own before you know it. 

Posted by Sandy Fenton, ABR, ASP, CDPE, GRI -Westchester NY - Condos to Luxury Homes (Keller Williams NY Realty * Licensed Associate Broker) almost 9 years ago

C,

I really tried to follow it... makes me tired just reading it... I know why the nap sounded good.. you can multi-task better than anyone I ever heard of! 

"Daffy Duck syndrome"  Now I am totally lost! But I do know shorty is communicating with you.. there is a message there...."has decided he must not let me out of his sight."

Posted by Carra & Shae Riley, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) almost 9 years ago

LOL @ Sandy. I have to learn how to be a better "mean mom" (LOL). My kids keep giving me the "yeah, right..." look. I think I spend 20% of my day warning them that I am serious (LOL). 

Carra, if you ever watched the original Bugs Bunny Looney Tunes series you'd discover Daffy Duck was a obessive compulsive character who claimed everything of value belonged to him. There was one show where they spoofed about greed and treasure where Daffy Duck would grab an item and declare, "It's mine! Mine, mine, mine!" (LOL). They even smacked him with a bit of magic, shrunk him down to size and even as a tiny pest he still went for the treasures screaming in an miniature voice, "mine, mine, mine!" So the parents who grew up on Looney Tunes know Daffy Duck Syndrome is about a very keen sense of jealousy and possession (LOL). The vocabulary in the old cartoons are great and the relationships between the characters run parallel to what we do in life as a tongue in cheek parody. I still watch them on the Internet with my kids. Amazon Unbox and Netflix are both a beautiful thing. :-)

Fave Daffy Duck Looney Tunes Quotes:

Daffy Duck: "I'm so crazy I don't know this isn't possible."

Daffy Duck: [This is a job for Stupor Duck] "I'll just release you of that if you don't mind..."

Daffy Duck: [Spotting the Blue Monkey Diamond] "I'm rich. I'm affluent. My liquidity is assured."

Daffy Duck: "I don't know the meaning of the word fear." [Opens door to find Yosemite Sam aiming a cannon at him] Yosemite Sam: "Say your prayers, duck!" Daffy Duck: "Fear: Noun. A state of terror. Yaaaaah!"

Daffy Duck: "Obviously I'm dealing with inferior mentalities."

Porky: "But you don't know anything about Martian technology." Daffy Duck: "No, but I am good at breaking things."

Daffy Duck: "Of course you realize, this means war..."

Daffy Duck: "It's mine, ya understand? Mine, MINE, ALL MINE! Get back in there! Down down down! Go go go! Mine mine mine! YAHAHAHAHA!"

Daffy Duck: "There's going to be a sneak preview and the sneaks aren't going to like it!"

Daffy Duck: "Consequences, Schmonsequences, as long as I'm rich."

Daffy Duck: "I may be a craven little coward, but I'm a greedy craven little coward."

 

 

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) almost 9 years ago

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