Life With Wee People: Well... That Totally Whomps... (So Much For Early...)
No good deed goes unpunished. Seriously... I have been up since 4 AM dealing with Stephen, the Minion Blur. He was irritable, cranky, didn't sleep well (and peed on me twice). That translates into not feeling well because when he whines and moans (and deliberately aims it at you) he wants your undivided attention.
Shorty demanding lots of affection and attention in super-needy mode is a dead giveaway I am going to have major issues... I don't want to have issues. I want to paint. I want to clean. I need to go to the store and buy food because the boys have been plowing through the food as if it is not supposed to be there. Sometimes, I really believe they think stocking reserves is offensive (LOL). I had a case of juice in the closet and they got all bent out of shape, like Mom's have to figure out a way to cram it into the fridge. Dump the chicken in the garbage if you have to, toss the eggs down the chute if you must but juice boxes must be cold... They are serious about their snack-age. If I cut their apples wrong I get attitude. :-)
So I'm thinking, "Yay! First day back to school." Break is over. We'll take our showers, hit the 24 hour diner, grab some silver dollar pancakes, maple syrup and turkey sausages with apple juice. It's a fave breakfast meal of the shorties at a great spot with lots of parking minutes from the house. The boys are in a good mood so when Step started drinking out of everyone's juice glass I didn't think much of it. It's what he does...
Then he says the magic words like a breathless, tentative question: "Pee pee?"
I am thinking, "OMG - how much time do I have?" He's got that deer in the headlight look like the thought surprised him. We're going to school in 20 minutes. We're supposed to be early. He's potty training in regular undies and I don't have a change of clothes in the car for him. He drank significant portions out of three large glasses of apple juice and now he has to pee. I know he is serious because he is climbing over Noah to go with me to the bathroom. I stand up to help him.
Dude pees on his brother.
We're looking at each other shocked. It's an accident. His lip starts to quiver and I am thinking, "Okay. We'll take this home. We're minutes from the house... Quick change. Not a problem." I take garbage bags I use for my open houses from the trunk and put them on their seats and off we go. We leave the food on the table because we have to make the highway after this. I'm thinking, "Not too bad, we have time."
We're standing in the elevator. Noah passes gas. He looks horrified. I'm thinking, "Noooooo... it can't be..."
Yup. It is. The light-bulb goes off with my 3 year old. Stephen looks up at Noah and proudly chirps, "Pee pee?" Then he grins a big cool aid smile because in his mind they have something in common. They've gone in public.
Poor Noah looks absolutely crushed. His lips start moving but the words wont come. I feel bad for them both. I tell him it's okay because now I'm feeling kinda bubbly and unsettled myself. In the shower they go. Quick rinse, new clothes and I'm thinking, "We can do this," because they don't feel warm. Stephen starts yelling while I come into the bathroom with a towel to carry him out. Shorty says, "No."
He grabs his potty seat, hops on the toilet, promptly squats then goes with very interesting sound effects.
They both have the runs.
My day is over... I am doomed to Nicktoons, YouTube and washing underwear for the rest of the day all because Noah wanted Rice and Broccoli for diner.
How do I know it was the Chinese food?
Guess what I am about to do... Yup. You got it.
Bummer... It was really good food and I had relaxing Monday morning plans that did NOT include the wee people underfoot until this afternoon. Poor Stephen is curled up in the fetal position with his shoes in my bed. Watching him not bounce off the walls is very disconcerting.
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