My Three Year Old Has Discovered Texting (LOL)
So I'm in the shower when I hear the home phone ring and my girlfriend's voice comes through the answering machine stating, "Either you are off your meds or shorty just sent me another text message."
She starts laughing her a$$ off because she knows that Stephen, the Minion Blur has my cell phone. The fact that I didn't answer the home phone either means (1) he drowned it in the toilet again, (2) it's hidden somewhere in the Minion Zone or (3) I am scrambling to get the heck out of the bathroom before my Sprint Rant takes a five story dive out the bedroom window compliments of shorty (LOL).
BTW, we learned our lesson from the last time and no longer leave the microwave, toaster or infrared cooker plugged in (ROTFL). However, we have been experiencing technical difficulty with peanut butter lately... (sigh)
My son has three favorite things that he loves to do: (1) eat ice pops, (2) watch DVDs, (3) engage in the ritualistic sacrifice of electronics. The latest casualty are the surround sound speakers that used to grace their bedroom. Don't ask. You really don't want to know. Trust me. That really, really whomped (LOL).
What you probably do want to know is what exactly is the Minion Zone. Hmm... let me think... it's very complicated (LMAO). I shall be back later to explain that PDD-NOS phenomena in great detail. There will be numerous disclaimers and a Wordy C warning not to try this at home. Seriously. Thinking like a three year old is dangerous but I digress... (LOL).
Did I mention that my three year old has discovered texting? Yes, I do believe I did... Now I fear we have to add sending text messages as a forth PDD-NOS addiction. The sad thing is he's really good at it for someone who can't read or spell (LOL). He works that phone like a pro and enjoys responding to other peoples replies (is it the little fingers engaged in occupational therapy or the freaked out Mama that gets him off?). If I don't get my phone back quick enough he can fire off six or seven of those puppies while running away, squealing with delight because he's being chased.
Text chasing... Shorty gives that phrase a whole new meaning (LOL).
It appears that he has also discovered the fact that if you type a letter my phone anticipates the word by frequency of use. Thus, strange sentences and bogus conversations are formed instantly (to the delight and amusement of my friends). He told one I was "waiting outside" so she came home looking for me. He sent "OMG" to another so she started texting back in rapid fire: "?" "??" "What?" "WTF?" before she finally got frustrated and called me. Imagine her surprise when Stephen answered my cell and proudly announced, "Car. Look at the car? My car. Mine... MIIIIINNE." then abruptly hung up. This ritual was repeated three times before I realized he wasn't talking to Noah (LOL).
News spread quickly of his exploits. Thus, the text wars began. Now my girlfriends interrupt my day with pithy comments like, "I'm outside... or am I?" and "Mine. My Car. OMG Caaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrr" (LOL)
Did I mention we are very easily amused? We are you know. We all vicariously raise and supervise the wee people. Time to meet my clients. Last thoughts before I go?
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