Willard Gaylin: "Expressing anger is a form of public littering..."
Hmm... Does that make me a digital litterbug? (LOL)
I am trying to let go of my anger... I have not slept well. I keep writing blogs and deleting them because I am intelligent enough to realize no good will come of it if I prematurely post them publicly while my wrath is still raging...
Lawrence J. Peter once said, "Speak when you're angry, and you'll make the best speech you'll ever regret."
I don't want to regret this... I want to help the spouse of someone that I cared about who passed away last August, but I don't know how. I tweeted a question... I tweeted a statement... I fired off an e-mail asking a blogger at the entity for explanations and help. Now, I sit and wait for my explanations knowing that they may never come because this entity has no obligation to respond. I am not a party of record, nor do I represent the party, I just want to help the party... I sit, waiting with a disquieting pins and needle anticipation because I passed along the cell phone number of the person who needs the help, hoping he gets a helpful call... While I wait, I fret about which social media favor I'm about to cash in on behalf of another Rainer who may or may not want the blogging machine to mobilize on his behalf. I am quirky enough to mobilize the troops anyway. It's what I do. I hope I do it well...
Meddling? Yeah... How dare I? Well, why not? She wasn't one of my bay-bays, but we had an awful lot of fun together in Positive Attitude for the Weary Soul... I was there every step of the digital way and shared so many intimate moments writers and readers do when they connect and start having conversations across blogs and gradually become friends. I don't know her spouse on the same level that I knew her, but loved ones have a way of being an extension of each other. Her hubby was her best friend and she loved him more than her last breath, so how can I not meddle on behalf of the memory of a friend and good wife?
The good will of a good spouse does not die with their death. I care about what happens to him and the only connection we have is we loved the same person...
The death of a social media friend who is your friend hurts just as much as the death of a brick and mortar... We all mourn in so many different and complicated ways... Sometimes, we can't let go of our emotional attachments because soul ties are a very curious thing... they are hard to break and are the most treasured of our heart's possessions. When I periodically think of her, I automatically wonder about him, never hesitating to care about him simply because the process of thinking about her triggers a need to go silently lurk on their blog for an update. I want to know how he is doing and if he is okay... quietly visiting on his terms, looking forward to a word about his day, hoping and praying that he will gradually become happy again. She always wanted him to be happy, no matter what. I admired that so much about her. I also lurk because I want to hear more about my friend, who is very much loved and missed by so many people.
It is hard to write when your heart is breaking... It is hard to write when you are feeling lost... My heart is breaking because he is not okay... I am not okay with that fact. I can not escape the rage I am feeling because he did everything humanly possible to save his wife's life and stand beside her, no matter what. How can we not stand beside him?
He could better be if we help him, so I am asking you to help him. If one thousand people send him a Christmas card with $5.00 in it, it would be enough for him to redeem their house. He has lost so very much and I just can't stand seeing another good person fall... I am praying that more than one thousand people read this and that more than one thousand people send him a love gift. They lost the battle against cancer and if we do not loose the battle against our own apathy he will lose their home if no one will help him...
A redeemed house by Christmas is what I am praying for. Please pray with me. Please help me help him...
If expressing my anger about the loss of my friend and feeling so frustrated and helpless is a form of public littering, you would make this digital litterbug a very happy blogger by helping my friend survive... Show us both a kindness this Christmas by helping the hubby of a loved one. If I am going to litter cyberspace with my words, I would like to make it worthwhile...
This post is written in loving memory of Karen George.
12/16/2009 UPDATE: THE OFFICIAL Paypal email is michael@somad.org (somad stands for Save Our Mothers and Daughters).
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C.....This post was so heart felt, it brought tears. I have read about Karen's death and how she was loved by AR members. I have also read Michael George's posts and how hard he is trying to save his home. I couldn't find an address to send a card....if you have it, could you please post in the comment sections. Thanks C....you are indeed an angel to help Michael.
Rebecca, thank you for the kind words. I sent Michael an e-mail asking for a Paypal account and/or designated address. When he responds I will update the post.
C - I love you for writing this!!! That post is so beautiful and exactly what the doctor ordered. I know she would be so happy that you wrote this even tho I did not know her. He said he does not want money but I think his wife would want him to take it so You know I'm in!!! It is the perfect Christmas gift from her to him. What he should understand is that it puts a smile in peoples hearts when they can help someone so he should just take it and he can always pay it forward when circumstances change.
I will send with no return address just put from a little something from your wife up in the corner of the return address. You are indeed an Angel to the rescue and you did it well, Amen, faith restored in mankind or womenkind!!!
Dianne, thank you for fighting for him. Sometimes it is hard going at life alone when circumstances make it difficult to get done what you need done. I hope he will allow us to do this kindness in loving memory of our friend and fellow blogger. Michael may not realize it but he has a lot more friends than he thinks he does... We don't just troll for business here. Our relationships matter. What happens to him matters to me and a lot of other writers who knew and loved Karen... A home is a very special place where you park your stuff and share your life. No one should have to lose their home if it can be avoided... I am praying that with a little help from my friends and a whole bunch of readers this does not have to happen here. I am angry and spoiling for a fight. I want Michael to win... I want him to have the right to stay in or eventually sell his home on his terms, not have it taken from him.
I have met too many people who have lost their homes...
This picture is part of my Mom's kitchen in SC. They brought this home at a foreclosure auction. It was a very emotional traumatic experience for the young couple who lost this house. It was custom built by a family who wanted to move closer to their relatives, so they sold it to the children of people they knew. Hard times hit them and they eventually lost the home to the bank. The only people at the auction were a bunch of attorneys who were part of the foreclosure process on a few homes and my parents. They went into a bidding war with an attorney over it. He stopped bidding when he finally realized they were willing to bid that puppy right up to its market value to get it (LOL).
The lesson I learned? You want your house? Fight to get your house.
My parents have recently been visited by the kids of the original owners who were amazed to discover the beauty of the hardwood floors because the entire time they lived in the house it was carpeted. The oak planking has wonderful, warm detail. The oak cabinets have hand crafted hinges and handles. Closets of cedar... It's a nice home. A lot of care went into building and maintaining this house. They restored it to it's original condition. Lots of sanding, staining and painting went on for months (LOL).
When I think of how I feel seated in my mother's kitchen, I find that I can't imagine how Michael feels seated in the kitchen he used to share with Karen facing a possibility he may not be sitting there for long... I bet a lot of thought went into painting, selecting and arranging furniture and fixtures... That's what people do together when they purchase a home. Losing a home is not a casual thing, it costs people financially and emotionally.
Carolyn - I arrived after Karen's passing. But I read all about her on her posts and her courage. I also read his frustrating plea for advise. Painful and heartbreaking is accurate. I am looking forward to the pay pal link.
This place has many hearts
Thank you, Claude. There is some arm twisting going on, but I shall get that link. Dianne Hicks and I are working on it together. We are that kind of stubborn (LOL). ;-)
Carolyn--
I did email you this morning. Thank you so much. Thank you to everyone.
I wrote a post about it here:
http://activerain.com/blogsview/1381648/a-huge-thank-you-to-activerain
Claude, you are right: Many, many good hearts here. And Carolyn has one of the biggest.
C - What a terrible mess......thanks for getting the word out about this situation. I want to help too.
C:
I would be very happy to make a donation to the George-a-thon. Please post the information ASAP.
C ~ I just read Michael's post and that is how I got here. I read every blog she wrote and it brought me to tears! The story is just too close to home for me not to get involved so, let me know when you get something set up, I want to help. My mom died of breast cancer a long time ago and my father in-in-law of lung cancer. I am on Re-lay for life every year to help raise money.
Definitely a very moving post, C. I hope that we can manage to find something out about our friend so we can act upon our desire to help.
Something just crossed my mind as I was reading the last comment - beyond helping Michael in the immediate moment, I think we should all start becoming more involved with events such as Relay for Life on a regular basis so that a cure to cancer can be found. I think that Karen would have loved that, and it would mean just as much to Michael as any monetary gift we could give him.
CTS-Wow...I love you so much. What a kind and caring person you are. You TRULY are one of a kind. Karma is on your side for life girl.
I will certainly send money. I know he is saying not to, but I think we should anyway...what are your thoughts? If he does have to move, he'll need help with moving expenses, finding a new place, etc. Damn, this guy just needs a break for once. I'm with you and think we all need to help give him that break.
Hugs from Huntsville. You have touched my heart. I respect you SO SO SO very much. Thank God for people like you in the world. AR is full of great people. I'm so glad I'm a member.
we want that paypal link!!!! :) Ridiculous and a perfect holiday project for AR! Michael, take the money!
Michael, you have me walking a on a rope over here (LOL). I am trying to respect your wishes and balance the comments in my e-mail, but I am known for misbehaving and I am being very strongly urged to send the $$$. I want to send the $$$ so we need to talk, sweetie pie. I am dealing with really nice people who are in the "I wont take no for an answer" mode. I want that Paypal link Michael... Don't make me come over there. I will. I like invading states (LOL). :-)
Thank you, Ann. I really appreciate that. :-)
Jesse, Dianne and I are still virtually twisting his arm (LOL). We want all love gifts to go directly to Michael. :-)
June, thank you. The moment we get it set up I shall update this post plus write another post linking back. :-)
William, I am with you. There is so much good we could do as a group. There is strength in numbers. It doesn't take much if you have the numbers. That's why I asked for $5.00 as a starting point. A kid can give $5. That's pizza money. :-)
ERCG, I love you too. Thank you for the kind words, sweetie pie. :-)
Courtney, I second you (LOL). I also think if Michael wants it to go to a cancer fund he should take the $$$ because he can have the tax write off while giving in memory of Karen. :-)
http://activerain.com/blogsview/1384030/dear-michael-put-an-h-on-your-chest-and-handle-it-lol-
Michael, my friends are not taking their money back... They gave it to you. I am going to give it to you. Put an H on your chest and handle it, sweetie pie. :-)
The official Paypal email is michael@somad.org (somad stands for Save Our Mothers And Daughters).