C Tann-Starr's Outside Blog


Wordy C: A Generic Rant Is Best When Playing In The Closing Escrow Superbowl...

A Generic Rant Is Best When Playing In The Closing Escrow Superbowl... I wil not pretend to be so arrogant as to assume to school you on how you feel or bicker about how you express those feelings. I will urge caution because as a periodic playful and crazy person I do understand insanity when I see it (LOL). Why don't I just make it about me responding to what I see:

A broker who questions the ethics or practices of another broker may freely choose not to do business with the person who ticks them off or sets their alarm bells in motion. A person can make a formal complaint. A person can mediate or arbitrate. A person can litigate. A person can walk away. A person can illustrate a pithy point or share a bad business moment in order to gain insight from their peers on what to do (or not do) and how to possibly avoid certain pitfalls.

Sharing knowledge is cool. Mentoring and training peers is a wonderful, time consuming undertaking, however, one may not convey his or her feelings to other trade practitioners in any manner that might lead them to take similar action that results in a boycott or unfair dealings negatively impacting the particular person or firm one is complaining about that would not have happened if not for you and what you have specifically done...

In other words, writing generic rants is best. Don't name names and attack another business or brand on your blog posts. Truth is always a defense and I get the fair use review doctrine but Antitrust issues are a hard pill to swallow. If the "they" you are ranting about are dumb enough to come to your post and confess they are the ones who did you wrong in such an outrageous manner, verifying your truthful complaint while they try to justify screwing you over because they are stupid and arrogant then it may not be your fault they get spanked by their peers if they continue to act like an idiot in public because people can respond to the words coming out of their own mouth that they publish any way they feel is appropriate.

Needless to say I am having a very interesting morning with my e-mail and recreational reading (LOL). No, I will not link back to the blog posts I am laughing about or frowning over, but I will caution you guys to think about what you are doing when you click the comment post button. Those comments may not seem like much now, but they can turn into a serious nightmare later if the blog wars escalate to litigation. You have no idea what anyone in this forum is doing with your blog posts. After all, "Member's Only" posts can be printed and faxed just like everything else on the Internet. Every browser has a "File>Save As" option that allows you to download and save an entire web-page to your hard drive. If you calm down a day late and go back to delete or modify your comments the damage may already have been done and the evidence obtained and delivered to an attorney

Even temporarily insane passionate/emotionally triggered miscreants can feel remorse, so think about what you are saying while foaming at the virtual mouth with those political and other category of posts people. In NY State, my Broker In Charge is deemed to be responsible for my real estate advertising and websites. (e.g. every time I comment a link shows up next to my name with TannStarr.com and REMAX People Realty). If you read my blog you guys know I'm not a shy person and am prone to say just about anything. My serious, frivolous and wise cracking ways frequently send people towards and away from my profile/posts. What I will not do is get so riled up over another person's personal opinion that I throw everything I have struggled to attain and build away by knowingly, willingly and intentionally engaging in behavior that triggers a six/seven figure Antitrust fine for me and my firms. Believe you me when I say those laws are so complex and scary people can easily stumble in there and commit a violation unintentionally.

The Community Rules are here for a reason. Respect them. Please be advised that "Member's Only" posts are published to a forum: How private is private when you're dealing with cybersapce? Think about it... Slow your friggin' roll with that acid togue. When you are right, I concede that you are right but if you say it wrong bad things can happen to good people. Freedom of Speech is not free when you get smacked upside your virtual head by the Justice Department or a libel, slander, defamation civil suit.

Go edit yourselves. You know who you are (because you seem to enjoy riling people up as if you're trolling to induce heart attacks or for litigation). Why do people insist on parking on a competitor's blog post and just spew negativity? Go write you own damn post and get as negative as you want. I am a fun and games kinda gal, but even I draw the line at some stuff. Notice how i didn't park over there and simply said what I have to say over here? I am not saying you can't be pissed off and express yourself but what I am saying is you better be real correct about the crap you are flinging around about other people because we all have friends in cyberspace. The links will be forwarded. Group founders will be called. People will go off behind the scenes and start looking for an outlet for all of that anger you have inspired. When the suits come knocking and calling some things can't be taken back with a belated dang I got caught I better apologize attitude.

Truth is always relative to what is known. If a writer doesn't tell you everything why act like a know-it-all when you respond from out of state? Where you there? Are our laws similar? Do you know the players involved? Wanna help a newbie resolve something? Ask him or her an intelligent set of questions before you cyber-bomb them with your personal brand of sarcastic napalm because you think your 20 plus years of selling houses means something to a person who is barely making it and you've never given one referral to to help them pay their friggin' bills. Everyone in the Rain is trying to make money. Make no mistake about that. When you make someone else feel lower than a roach it pisses a lot of people off. Just because there are three comments on a blog post doesn't mean 1000 people have not read it and several people have shot me an e-mail asking me to say what they dare not say. (Yup. It's true: People count on my misbehaving - LOL). But I digress...

When people ask for an opinion or help in the Rain it is because they are exposing themselves while trusting this community.

Vulnerable people are not for your personal target practice. You know how I get when you mess with my bay-bays. I love my bay-bays. These people are my friends. We are learning each other an getting comfy in the rain. Loan Officers and Stagers are not second class citizens. We are all members of a struggling industry and we all bring something valuable to the table.

Being a Realtor is not the high end of the food chain. You are just one member of an assembled team playing the closing-escrow-superbowl for the client. HOW DARE SOME OF YOU MAKE SOMEONE ELSE FEEL THEIR CONTRIBUTION DOESN'T COUNT IN THIS FORUM. Don't make me come over there... You sure as hell wont like it if I tell what I really know about some of you. No one here is perfect. We all have issues. If Wordy C can shut up and bite her tongue you may want to seriously consider doing the same. Everything on your mind does not need to be said. There is a lot of irony in that statement coming from a writer like me 'cause I say just about everything (LOL). However, I do not start my day out by naming names and intentionally making another specific writer feel like crap in cyberspace.

People have feelings. People can be hurt. Businesses can suffer. Watch your friggin' comments because an objective disagreement or difference of opinion is not the same as an insult, libel, slander and defamation...

Play nice in the electronic sandbox people. :-)

Blog Post Therapy done. Was that generic enough for you? I can write another rant if this one doesn't doesn't suit you. Seriously... (LMAO) ;-)

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Comment balloon 62 commentsC Tann-Starr • September 27 2009 09:24AM


I agree....and even if you do all this, the slightest extra detail that can "hint" about who it might be can also get you in trouble. And....make sure that if you are doing this...Members Only is a very good idea.

Posted by Karen Fiddler, Broker/Owner, Orange County & Lake Arrowhead, CA (949)510-2395 (Karen Parsons-Fiddler, Broker 949-510-2395) about 11 years ago

I absolutely love your post.  I am impressed with your thoughts and your verbal butt chewing of those who don't follow the rules.  I don't beleive I have experienced any of that on my posts, thank goodness, but I have seen some negativety on others posts. 

Thank you for your post.

Posted by Brenda Mullen, Your San Antonio TX Real Estate Agent!! (RE/MAX Access) about 11 years ago

It's truly amazing how you just happen to post these wonderful rants right when folks need to hear them! You'd almost think you were hanging out on AR all day and we KNOW that isn't true! ;-)

Being a Realtor is not the high end of the food chain. Thanks for the reminder. Sometimes that is easy to forget what with all the talk about rats and such....


Posted by SarahGray Lamm, Realtor - 100K Hours of NC Real Estate Experience (Allen Tate Realtors Chapel Hill, NC 919-819-8199 ) about 11 years ago

Uh huh!

We have, on occassion, been known to get carried away. 

That said, when posting negative comments about a fellow AR member is really no more than an attempt to limit competition, trouble could ensue.

Sergeant Phil Esterhaus: "Hey, let's be careful out there."

Posted by Lenn Harley, Real Estate Broker - Virginia & Maryland (Lenn Harley, Homefinders.com, MD & VA Homes and Real Estate) about 11 years ago

Hi C: Everything we as agents do and say is a direct reflection of who we are, and the public reads Active Rain. So do your competitors. People seem to say things online that they wouldn't be caught dead saying to a person's face or in public. We're not some secret club at Active Rain. Our posts show up in Google where anybody can read them. If a person really wanted to read a member's only person, a person can create a profile at Active Rain and read it. I know for a fact that some of my clients read Active Rain. Agents might want to keep that in mind when they write.

If you can't say something nice, as my mom used to say, don't say anything at all.

land park agent

Posted by Elizabeth Weintraub Sacramento Realtor Top 1%, Put 40 years of experience to work for you (RE/MAX Gold) about 11 years ago

Karen, Members Only indeed. There has to be a balance where people can tell the truth, share ideas and express themselves without going so far as to destroy a business. Brokerage houses are closing over here at an alarming rate. The agents are getting their brokers licenses not because they don't want to be with a firm, but because they can't afford the franchise and desk fees. They are not closing escrow enough and the MLS numbers are lopsided. How can an MLS association brag 200 brokerage firms opened in a month when a 75, 200 and 300 agent firm closed its doors and those firm-less associate brokers are now terrified one person brokerages trying to make a living from home? They think that means the industry is turning positive? New brokerages opening from established large firms failing? Seriously? Why not tell the friggin' truth as to why they did? Geez. Time for me to maybe shut up I guess (LOL). I shall have to write about that later. ;-)

Thank you, Brenda. Sometimes a good rant is the only way to get my blood pressure back down while answering e-mail in public (LOL).


Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Can you imagine if everyone in the real estate food chain (from pest inspectors, to lenders, to an escrow officer) had the ego that some agents do?  My oh my would this be an unbearable field.  Fiduciary responsibilities are one thing, but <insert negative attribute(s) here> are quite something else.

Common sense would dictate: Don't say anything online that you don't want the world to see and that you are not willing to say to the person's face.

You are so right about slander and libel, one can never be too careful.

One should be very careful and re-install the inhibitors between one's beta waves and keyboard <or tongue>.

What a fun and accurate read.  You write so incredibly well.

Posted by Chris Olsen, Broker Owner Cleveland Ohio Real Estate (Olsen Ziegler Realty) about 11 years ago

A good read, interesting thoughts.  I agree about the one man companies opening up.

Posted by Paul Todd, Vacation and Second Homes Sales and Management - Mentone Alabama (Mentone Cabins Realty, LLC) about 11 years ago

SarahGray, I get prodded (LOL). I love this place. It is truly my virtual home. I pop in and out around the clock checking on my fave groups while looking for my friends. I don't always comment but I do spend a lot of time reading here and I find myself wondering how people can take their blogs and comments for granted like they do. People in other countries have been killed for expressing a different opinion. I am read in 32 countries because of the Rain and I find myself wondering what they think of us.

People contact me in Facebook all the time asking me questions and I have used translators to try and chat in other languages with teen aged kids who dream of living here. They share a lot of info in very innocent ways because we are licensed practitioners who were screened, fingerprinted and investigated. They trust us without knowing us and love reading us because we show them where we live, where we shop, what we buy, who our friends and family are. This place is a transparent culture of North American life for them. This place is not just real estate. Real estate is what industry we work in but our blogs reflect who we are what we do and how we do it.

How we do everything makes an impression on people around the world. Ever since I got that orange sticker my e-mail has been going through the roof. Their (the public's) idea of what an Ambassador and what a Rainmaker is amazes me. The people who follow us amaze me. We matter to them and some of them do not understand when we get really nasty with each other in public. Reality is good, but extremists not so good. How can I not rant when I am holding the mind of a 16 year old in Turkey captive? How can I not defend my friends and loved ones? They defend me all the time. They even make me delete stuff for my own good (LMAO). If I can kill my own posts and comments then so can everyone else. We should all periodically edit ourselves. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Super-duper post!  I never say anything anywhere that I don't mind being read heard.

Posted by Kat DeLong, Realtor DRE#01235311, Lake Arrowhead Real Estate ( (LakeView Realty Enterprises, Inc) about 11 years ago

Lenn, I have been carried away in spades (LOL). I can not begin to tell you how many time Melodious has picked up the phone and straightened me out (LMAO). Thank God for plain spoken people who are really good friends. ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Elizabeth, several of my brick and mortars are here, including my older sister (LOL). People have no idea how other people are truly connected or related. Clients do have access. My Granny has access (LMAO). ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Very eloquently said.  Maybe we all just need to think "If I was reading this from someone else, what would I think of that person?  Would I think that maybe they were just having a bad day?  Would I think they were acid and I should stay away?"  There IS a difference between ranting and poison.

Posted by Jane Penttinen, NMLS #222178 (V.I.P. Mortgage ) about 11 years ago

Vulnerable people are not for your personal target practice

.... thats a great line for all to remember Carolyn !

Terrific post, outlining very clearly how we should approach venting and ranting and how to not get carried away and act inappropriately.

Nicely done :o)

Cheers !


Posted by Sheldon Neal, That British Agent Bergen County NJ (Bergen County, NJ - RE/MAX Real Estate Limited) about 11 years ago

Every word is SO true.  The old adage still works "If you don't have anything nice to say........" we should all just move on.  It's not only disrespectful, it may well come right back to you in ways you couldn't have imagined. 

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) about 11 years ago

C, I have read VERY specific rants down to time and day, name of company, business, but not often client and I believe your generic rant approach is the much more respectable way to take on our complaints. I wonder too from the point of view of the writer, what are they thinking? Madness sometimes in my view.

Posted by Gary Woltal, Assoc. Broker Realtor SFR Dallas Ft. Worth (Keller Williams Realty) about 11 years ago

Chris, depending upon the ego they select to emulate that is a truly frightening thought (ROTFLMAO). ;-)

Paul, a number of my friends have been displaced this way and they have shared some very keen insights as to what is going on. A few of them now have everything hanging on the line. If their one person boutiques fail they will literally lose everything starting with the roof over their heads. Reaching out to other people in the same boat while trying to support a family should not be met with sarcasm if they choose to use the forum when the correct answer might mean the difference between closing escrow or triggering an errors and omission incident.

Some people are under the assumption that because they are licensed it automatically makes them an expert. No, it does not... I have never done a major commercial deal. I'd like to, but I have not. I have someone who wants a shopping mall. I ran my bloggers butt to on-line class so fast it wasn't even funny. Said straight up to the prospects I have never done one before and gave them an out to find a better Realtor. They actually think I am the better Realtor not because I tooted my horn but because I was willing to confess my short comings and lack of knowledge in the area regarding Class A, B, and C commercial buildings. They didn't care because they already have a professional team in place. It was an invitation to bring what I could do to the table and possibly join a project. I can do real estate math, negotiate a sales price, sketch diagrams and floor plans, photography, video, paralegal work and assist their accountant and attorney in procuring a building. I can actually do that. Felt kinda stupid stumbling from prospect to customer with the customer talking about what they liked about my blog (LOL). We have no idea who is reading us and why they want to work with us. Dude knew I was a Realtor who can draw because he had my blog post pages  (LMAO).

Investor clients look for team members. If you are honest about needing to learn something you'd be surprised how people will respond and help teach you. I have been up most of the night going through requirements and check lists and burning through my continuing education commercial classes with two attorney tutors kicking my butt. Their attitude is this is a great opportunity for me and we all have to start somewhere if we are going to do things we have never done before. When I see people getting ridiculed because they admit they don't know how to do something and ask for help it burns me to a crisp. Been there, done that, still there, still learning, still asking for help.

BTW, yesterday was my two year anniversary as a Realtor. I'm still a babe in the wood compared to so many of you. I do not have a single designation behind my name and remember when I was thinking about leaving but Melodious talked me out of it. I now hope to have a CCIM one day. We'll see. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

C - Thanks for the wonderful expanded commentary! I couldn't agree more. I get very upset when people express the opinion that we, as Americans, can do whatever we want and to heck with the rest of the world!  We have a precious gift here and using our freedoms to harm others and deny that they matter is offensive. If we believe we have the right to fight for our freedoms than we need to use what we have fought for with dignity and intention.

Posted by SarahGray Lamm, Realtor - 100K Hours of NC Real Estate Experience (Allen Tate Realtors Chapel Hill, NC 919-819-8199 ) about 11 years ago

Thank you, Jane. I have written entire blog posts and deleted them because I felt better at the end and realized that although I wanted to share something important that was bothering me, sometimes it's best to pick up the phone and call a friend or simply have a conversation with the goldfish rather than post it (LOL). ;-)

Sheldon, having been quite the inappropriate commenter on several occasions (okay, maybe hundreds - LOL) I'm starting to realize there's just too much at stake to sit back and watch someone else put themselves so far out there they are a ticking time bomb waiting to be litigated. Can't give legal advice but can give some common sense warnings. The State Department is here. The Justice Department is here. The EPA is here. If you think their licensed professionals have not joined the Rain because of their secondary outside employment gigs that they are legitimately blogging about on their own dime, think again. How many other people are here with multiple jobs that we know nothing about because they don't tell you. I'm still having mad fun jacking blogs and saying silly stuff but sometimes I actually do pause and curl my finger back from posting... The line, "Oh the things I could say here but wont" has saved me a few times (LOL). I shall still rant and rave and play as usual but I will try not to incite any virtual riots. :-)

Carole, I have been trying to play nicely myself (LOL). Got a few e-mails from Activepeeps saying in sum and substance that they were so sure I was gonna say something on several posts but I didn't which was very disappointing (LMAO). Was it hard? Yeah. Oh yeah... I really wanted to go off (ROTFL). However, rumor has it I can start blog wars so I have to pick my banter battles carefully (LOL). I'd rather make peace in the kingdom than inadvertently help tear it apart. I plan to grow old here if here is still here (LOL).

Gary, so have I. I find that amazing. Got involved in a few and bantered them to death to the point where I finally got the lightbulb to go off ad they took 'em down. Then I realized I can't keep doing that. People who do not understand are going to take what I say the wrong way no matter how I say it. Sometimes trying to help someone actually offends them. I now pick up the phone and call because there are some things that should never make it into e-mail or a blog post comment...


Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

SarahGray, very well said.

Kat, thank you. I come from a quirky, blunt family that went through a lot of trials and tribulation. Adversity has a way of making you cut to the chase and determine what really matters to you. I have a lot of interests and I have a lot of issues so I do not pretend to be something that I am not. I can't afford it. Playing the wrong game can bring a lot of pain to people. I have watched real estate negotiations and contracts fall apart because of personalities clashing and attitudes. I'm an attitude chicka so I get the tude issues (LOL).

I try real hard to keep it in check when I am dealing with business and am amazed when other people start right in off the bat because as a LB they have something my buyer wants. When they act as if a BB doesn't have what the seller needs I walk. Don't want my buyer because you don't want me? Seriously? I had a builder call my buyer after making us wait since April to explain to her he doesn't deal with Realtors. My buyer wanted to view his new construction and that ______ took half a year to return HER call, plus never returned mine. We thought the company has closed because we never heard from them until last week.

The builder stated he ignores inquiries from brokers because as a seller he refuses to pay them. Had he returned my call he would have discovered the fact that I had a buyers brokerage agreement where if the sellers doesn't pay the buyer pays the brokerage fee.

Dumb-dumb could have sold his home months ago. Talk about having to bite my tongue when my buyer went to meet with him and view his new homes without me. She did me proud in the end because she explained after taking up a considerable amount of his time that she was not leaving me or my firm and would have paid me had he simply called us in a timely manner. Because of his attitudes about real estate brokers she declined to purchase any of his new construction homes. Working with me taught her just how hard Realtors work for their clients. Made my day but made me sad at the same time because Dude blew an easy sale... plus my client doesn't have a home yet. If an attitude of someone who had something she wanted could pull that response, what response are we pulling when we fight to the bitter end over politics or anything else polarizing?

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

C - I suppose I have done my share of typing when I would have been better served to go for a walk. I am sure that there have been times when I have come across as a pompous snob.  I try not to challenge competitors behavior. I try. There are times when a practice comes to my attention and I just go off, fingers flying, heart on my sleeve ranting and there are others where I poke at them from a not so cryptic place filled with ridicule. I have received cease and desist letters from corporate attorneys. I have had my name spoken in not so kind terms. I am guilty of speaking my mind and at times not stopping to think of the consequences. 

I am old. I have lived in a world that went from labeling water fountains to hiding the same attitude behind obscure company policies. I have grown up in a world that actually needed to create a Fair Housing Bill because so many people refused to behave in a fair and decent manner.

I will continue to call a spade a spade. If someone wants to sue me, they better be sure the facts will hold up in court. I will be there with bells on.

One point you mentioned, the fact that anyone has access to our posts here, there and everywhere is also very true. I was under the impression that members only or group only posts were just that. I have learned the lesson. I wrote a very simple poem and posted it to a group here. One month later, it was the source of pitchforks and hot tar as one of the agents that work in my office proclaimed it was pornographic and they could not work for a firm that had the purveyor of such porn as a manager. It created a long phone call filled weekend. It was also in the end much ado about nothing. Nipple was not such a horrible word and the dissent dissipated into thin air. Still, it was a lesson learned.

Thank you for sharing, and please, keep on rockin' in the real world.

Posted by John MacArthur, Licensed Maryland/DC Realtor, Metro DC Homes (Century 21 Redwood) about 11 years ago


Can we dance around a cauldron? I have a kitchen knife and Luna can double as a fat noisy black bat.

But I digress.


Yeah, it's good to keep a level head.

Posted by Candice A. Donofrio, 928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text (Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker) about 11 years ago

John, I love your comment. I come across as such a wide spectrum of things I stopped worrying about it a long time ago. Say what you mean because sometimes we don't get a second chance to say it when it needs to be said. I fly by the seat of my pants when I write and have dealt with all kinds of drama behind it. I'm pretty blunt and some people really don't like that about me. Oh well... (LOL).

People forget that I am relatively new to the industry. Two years isn't a long time in the grand scheme of things and if this were a goverment job we'd actually be celebrating me passing my probation (LMAO).

People also forget that my primary function is Real Estate Paralegal and the notary and agent thing is part of the package, not the whole package. I have created music, art and poetry and love when people share that aspect of themselves here. I find that people who don't create have a bit of a problem with the ones who do because they are usually the ones who find something to attack the latter for. I try to encourage people to draw they attack me because they claim they can't draw and I'm showing off. I try to encourage people to take their own pictures I gotta get flack about because they claim it may not be the best thing since they are not good at it or don't have time. Try to tell them avoid the copyright violations and they get peeved because they have to justify why they are still doing it no matter how many people remind them might go bad one day... Why not make your own video? Oh, the flack I sometimes get for that bit of advice (LMAO). We all have to start somewhere. Why not just start doing what you can where you are now and learn how to make it better?

What is is about being original on the level where you are now that pisses people off? Who convinced the proverbial "they" that the self expression of a poem is porn? I usually ask people what the hell where you thinking that gave you that impression when they bring the subject of porn up? I stopped painting nudes because my hubby couln't get over the male models. He loved the ladies modeling but didn't want me painting the guys. I gave up painting both. Equal opportunity stop (LOL).

Porn is a mindset. When I grew up we all had naked baby pictures with our rear butts bare on the blankie. Now they arrest people for having what used to be an innocent shot of a baby grinning and cooing while waiting for a diaper.

I am sorry to hear about your poetry misunderstanding... You post what ever you feel best suits you at the time you are writing. It usually all sorts itself out in the end. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Candice, I shall confess that with the number of cartoons living in my head it is anything and everything except level (LMAO). I think I have moments of sanity between napping and searching for Hagen Daz. ;-)

More rants, eh? Hmm... Be careful what you ask for, you just might get it Candy (LOL). :-D

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

I'm so glad you wrote this.  When I read the posts that I'm assuming inspired your post the other day I was disheartened, because it was the second time in two weeks that I saw one agent drag another agent into the ring by his/her hair, and I really, really hate that kind of thing.

I see posts like that for what they are - one agent desperately trying to make him/herself look good at the expense of another.  Most people are intelligent enough to see through that.

If we're not careful around here Active Rain is going to resemble Zillow forums, andt that would be a shame. You made your points so much better than I ever could have, glad you wrote it and very happy you are here in the Rain.

Posted by Lisa Bosques about 11 years ago

There are some on AR who use blog posts as an opportunity to act like the bullies on the beach.  The one that comes to mind for me is also one who has had very little business (per the MLS) in the last year.  Kicking sand in the faces of the agents who are successful might make them feel better but in the end we are the ones who are laughing all the way to the bank. 

Posted by Cindy Jones, Pentagon, Fort Belvoir & Quantico Real Estate News (Integrity Real Estate Group) about 11 years ago

Lisa, I know what you mean... Sometimes you have to call a spade a spade without stubbing your toe on one. If we don't scream foul people will keep doing it because they will erroneously believe they are getting away with something when they are not. People remember the people who hurt them. It gets etched in there... It can color how you feel later on...

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Ok - So I am SO curious about your generic blog post that I want to go see where you've been commenting...But I also know you're so smart that you wouldn't leave a cookie crumb trail for me. And you didn't because others can't see where you've commented. Gotta love your CYA girl!

Posted by Christianne O'Malley, Exceptional Service - Delivering Results in Reno! (RE/MAX Realty Affiliates) about 11 years ago

C, This post wasn't wordy at all. Did you run out of steam?

AR has been a little out of control lately. I had a post a couple of weeks ago that really brought the "neggies" out of the wordwork. I kept going back and reading what I wrote trying to figure out what set people off. I still haven't figured it out. That's unusual because when I do set out to set people off I am quite aware of what I'm doing :)

Posted by Bryant Tutas, Selling Florida one home at a time (Tutas Towne Realty, Inc and Garden Views Realty, LLC) about 11 years ago

Cindy, I had an agent tell me to stay out of the Hamptons because my office was in Queens and I correctly answered a Hamptons inquiry on Trulia. That agent tried to make it seem like my answer was wrong. I called the number I supplied the prospect and verified the information then went back over there and blasted him for not knowing the buildings department was located in the town hall and that the number and address I gave was correct and a direct line to get his permit as opposed to a generic switchboard number at a front desk that needed to transfer the call to the right department.

Allocation of a market is a violation of Antitrust laws. No agent can tell another agent you work this side of the street and I'll work my side of the street. I could have had his license for it. Instead, I stopped answering questions on Trulia.

Don't get me wrong, I like the site but that dumb-a$$ was arrogant enough not to leave me alone and got other agents involved. People actually told me on the side I was attacked because I am black. Was it true or were they starting something because they didn't like the male white agent? When people you do not know contact you and try to act as if they are on your side by telling you something that clearly was not said or implied, it makers one wonder why contact a writer and say something like that at all?If the person has a pattern and practice of putting other people down to make himself look good, the door opens for mischief. Everyone has an agenda. If you are not going to be part of the solution, how about don't hinder Rainers who are willing to try? I am not a Pollyanna but I think that needs to be said.

I am an artist. I have rich friends. They have vacation spots in the Hamptons. Black people don't go to the Hamptons? Seriously? I'm supposed to be the maid if you see me or some service worker? How did that conversation start behind the scenes from bickering about the bildings department?

Sometimes you have to tell yourself to do no harm and walk away when people are stupid in a forum. Our answers are still sitting there for all the world to see. If he were smart he'd remove it. He's not smart. It's his butt if he does it to the wrong person and they send it off to make a formal complaint about some hypothetical conspiracy to block out of area minority agents from working the lucrative streets of South and North Hamption. Collect enough stupid comments made in a forum with photographs and contact information and it is very easy to prove a pattern of while males versus black/asian/hispanic female agents having hypothetical territory issues.

When I started noticing a few people crossing over to the dark side I figured I'd let off some steam while answering some e-mail because this is a pet peeve with me.

A licensee is licensed to operate throughout the state and is responsible for knowing the job at hand. People get to pick and choose the neighborhoods they want to learn and earn a living in. They research the environmental studies so they know if there will be an impact that may adversely affect their transactions. They look up certificates of occupancy and permits and what ever else they feel will answer a question regarding the transaction being able to close. We are not responsible for a lot of information, but we should at least know our markets and be able to remark intelligently on a permissible subject or inquiry.

Other people should not assume someone they don't know is ignorant, especially when they answer an inquiry correctly and the person putting you down is not only out of line, but dead wrong. If a person gets insulted by an unfortunate choice of words, the person doing the insulting may find him or herself caught off guard by a third party stepping and making the argument something official to investigate. People get paid to sit all day and sort information into intelligence from public forums. I know this for a fact. I used to be an investigator for a mayoral agency. People forget I am retired law enforcement (LOL). :-)


Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

C, just wanted to let you know that I'm crazy about you :-)  (Ok, that sounded stalkerish..didn't mean it to.)

Posted by Kris Wales, Real Estate Blog & Homes for Sale search site, Macomb County MI (Keller Williams Realty - Lakeside Market Center) about 11 years ago

There are times when you need to vent and get out the frustration in your head about a particular situation, but it's always dangerous to toss out actual names. Especially if it involves an ongoing situation.

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) about 11 years ago

Christianne, I was a good girl. I only yelled WTF once before I logged out to make some green tea (LOL). When I don't trust myself to be civil I have to shut down the laptop completely (LMAO). I did not comment because I thought it would be best not to. I did lurk for a while and realized things were not going to get any better. My bay-bays were making noise and I can not ignore Club Chaos. That's my virtual family. Gotta protect 'em. Rather than start another blog war I figured I'd just remind my virtual family sometimes if we go too far there can be unintended consequences... 

Hi Papa! :-) BB, it's been a bit strange this week. Sometimes you think you are going to read one thing and you turn out discovering another. While I'm figuring out what to say people are distracting me by e-mailing me sending me to all sorts of places they think I should be commening on. If they are not complaining I've been quiet, they're complaining we're not jacking enough blogs (ROTFL). I will confess that this was mad wordy until I cut it in half. Figured I'd have mad fun with the second part. ;-) BTW, I figured I'd freak people out and get real wordy with the conversations (LMAO).

Kris stalking me? OMG how cool is that? Very (LOL). Thank you for the kind words, sweetie pie. Very much appreciated. ;-)


Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Kris, NO STALKING C.  She is MINE! hahahaha!

Posted by Candice A. Donofrio, 928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text (Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker) about 11 years ago

Bgpic11142008103101_lFeatured in M.A.N.C.R.O.W. CONGRATS!

Posted by JL Boney, III, Columbia, SC Real Estate (Coldwell Banker) about 11 years ago

JL, you hit the nail on the noggin!!!

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

LOL @ Candice. Ooooooooo. I belong to Candy. This is getting very interesting... Chicka is staking a stalking claim. Yay! Now where the heck is Melodious... (LOL) ;-)

JL, thank you for the feature in MANCROW. Very much appreciated. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

WayWard Child Of Mine (CTann)...

Are you absolutely certain miscreants feel remorse? :)

On a more serious note, I've had a busy weekend and was just waiting to see who would put up a post on this topic. We can not be reminded enough that words can hurt. They can also put a huge dent in the wallet :)

P.S. I'm gonna go wash my mouth out with soap now :)


Posted by "The Lovely Wife" (Broker Bryantnulls Wife) The One And Only TLW. (President-Tutas Towne Realty, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Oh Yeah...

I bet you loved reading me telling someone they were out of their league when it comes to me :)

Sometimes, I just have to say what needs to be said. You're like that too :)

P.S. Don't miss the vids on PaPa's Blog. You're gonna likey. Your Brother is over there :)


Posted by "The Lovely Wife" (Broker Bryantnulls Wife) The One And Only TLW. (President-Tutas Towne Realty, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Very good C, ya got some.........I wrote 4 comments on each post and deleted all 8! Some others should have done the same. Aren't we all too busy for this.....guess not!

Posted by David M. Childress, I would love to be your Realtor® in Akron Ohio! (Howard Hanna Real Estate Services) about 11 years ago

I called someone an "idiot" on Trulia once.  They used their initials . . . so how could that be a personal attack -- and it's not like TLW, and those aren't her name initals, for example.  I called this idiot an idiot because someone asked a question about a person.  Gave the person's full name out, and asked if someone could find out where they lived, becasue the person asking said, "I'm an old high school buddy."  Hmmm . . . and the INITIAL IDIOT (who had access to names, addresses . . . and agents and appraisers who have tax information CAN dig up addressed using names) gave an entire "HERE THEY ARE" broadcast.

Hmmm . . . what if: that person was NOT a high school buddy, or even a friend?  What if: this person who gave out someone's address was aiding and abetting someone who was premeditating a crime?  (Maybe I watch too much SVU?)  So I said "WHAT AN IDIOT XYX IS!!" and stated why.

Posted by Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED (RETIRED / State License is Inactive) about 11 years ago

Clearly I missed something (lol) We are all subject to saying of doing something that may hurt someone and later come back to bite us in the provervial butts.  The internet has made it all so easy to do too ... I found myself holding back on an email to a listing agent this morning ... I typed it and then decided I better make it more generic ... and did just that!  This post certainly triggered a lot of response. Thanks for the reading.

Posted by Kathleen Daniels, Probate & Trust Specialist, Probate Real Estate (KD Realty - 408.972.1822) about 11 years ago


Well I would say you are pretty riled up, but so right on target. I made this point specifically in a talk I gave recently to a business and professional women's group. Attorneys have to love the Internet - a quick print outvand you cannot deny that you did or said what you did. The Internet has a long memory and is a great source of evidence.


Posted by Jeff Dowler, CRS, The Southern California Relocation Dude (eXp Realty of California, Inc.) about 11 years ago

I agree with you 100%!  I don't understand why people name names and call each other names on this site - how does that get you anywhere in life?  Are people not worried about karma?  There are blog commenters here who have no shame in what they say.  It's sad.  I do believe it will come back to haunt them!

Posted by Emily Lowe, Nashville TN Realtor (The Lipman Group | Sotheby's International Realty) about 11 years ago

Mama, I am in class with my gal pals breathing down my neck. Will visit Papa to see my Bro in a few. I'm cramming for a quiz and it appears my brilliant friends do not like my less than perfect performance (LOL). Imagine having a current assistant district attorney and former assistant district attorney both telling you practice does not make perfect unless you practice perfectly (as if I am not anal retentive enough - LMAO).

BTW, TLW, we are all not in your league, so there (ROTFLMAO). You and BB ROCK the Original and Unique category, which happens to be my fave cyber subjects (LOL). F 'em if they can't take a joke. Seriously... ;-)

David, I tend to go back and quietly delete myself. Hubby deleted almost everything here as well. Sometimes a self edit makes you sleep well at night. Of course, since I only nap that may not be germane to some people (LOL).  :-)

Carla, you are such a sweetie pie. I have a potty mouth and have called people out with all kinds of wicked little blurbs (ROTFL). I have a b*tch switch and am not afraid to use it or an F bomb. I don't want people to get the wrong impression of me. I turn it on and off and expect everyone does it their own way to some degree. What I am learning how to do is temper it along the virtual line because what you say and how you say it are two very distinct and different things (LOL). I wont do it now, but I can think of several very interesting ways to say someone is a blooming idiot. It's subjective and not definitive, so stating so actually is kinda safe (LOL).

The danger lies in when people get so riled up they go from a truthful (if somewhat less than flatterig statement) to a completely unsupported allegation they state/act as fact to virtually bang somebody upside the head with to supposedly prove their point. If a publication of information in a blog post about a person who someone had the audacity to actually name and otherwise add additional identifiers to (like their job title and firm) is actually false, then hypothetically there is a possibility that the tort of defamation might have occurred...

My friends know I don't drink so they take me with them to a bar so I can collect drinks from guys who like to buy bar women drinks. They tell me what to ask for and I'd ask for it, take one sip, put it down and my male friends would "steal" my drinks while I danced. I am black. They are white. People noticed them "stealing" my drinks and had no idea I was giving them away with my blessing (LOL). I am the designated driver with my friends, that's is why they bring me. The free drinks were a happy accident we discovered the first time i went out after work and people offered them up as an ice breaker. (LMAO) If you do not know I am deliberately doing this with a bunch of friends and their co-workers (who all know my hubby) what would you think if you saw it?

I can spin you a story in no time flat that would appear plausible, be highly detrimental and place quite a few of us in a false light. A bit of harmless fun now is a sinister thing if one alleges alcohol abuse because I accepted ten drinks in three hours. Fact: I never said the drinks were alcoholic (ROTFLMAO). How many people assumed this? Was it being in the bar that threw you off. Should I have added the fact the other side was a restaurant? Do your designated drivers drink because I don't and not drinking keeps my peeps safe so they can enjoy their dinner. ;-)

If something bad communicated about a readily identifiable person is not technically false but is worded in such way as to be misleading, the person named hypothetically may suffer the tort of false light. I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice. This is just a pause and think about what the heck you are doing moment when a bit of complaining, ranting or raving turns into something else.

Our comments are published words in durable form hanging out in cyberspace. It's not like we are privately whispering an opinion in our best friends ears. We are screaming across the globe, streaming live the minute we push that button (LOL). Before I make it to the bathroom some guy in Austria may be commenting about our conversation (LMAO).

The relatively safe ground: if you are not in the know make your statements statements of opinion because we are entitled to our opinions (up to a reasonable point).

There are some people who know me who think I am a sweetie pie, and there are some people who know me as a real mother... (are you cursing or thinking yeah, because she has crazy kids - LOL). I can be a whole spectrum of things to a whole bunch of people depending upon how we meet, where we are and what we are doing. Most important factor: people tend to color their conversations from where they are coming from, usually their experience with the subject.



Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

You are right never name names or post true articles.   Don't get sued over being mad. 

Posted by Russ Ravary ~ Metro Detroit Realtor call (248) 310-6239, Michigan homes for sale ~ yesmyrealtor@gmail.com (Real Estate One) about 11 years ago

C - I wonder what caused this generic rant? I know I have read some flat out rude comments, but when someone attacks another in an open forum using their name the impact can be far reaching. Those type of posts can snag an innocent commenter into a great big pile of crap.

Posted by Judy Jennings, Tap into Judy's real estate expertise & resources. (Top Agent Plus) about 11 years ago

C, you said

"but if you say it wrong bad things can happen to good people."

Like my grandmother was fond of telling me when I was younger, "It's not what you say, but how you say it..."

How private can anything be on the internet? Indeed....

Posted by William James Walton Sr., Greater Waterbury Real Estate (WEICHERT, REALTORS® - Briotti Group) about 11 years ago

I agree with you - there are many good reasons to keep it generic - or neutral.  You never know who's tuned into what you're writing and how that may effect you.

Posted by Shellie Alicia Carter (REAL. | Realtyka, LLC) about 11 years ago


Sometimes I wish that you would just say what you thing and not measure your words so carefully! lol

Posted by Richard Weisser, Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional (Richard Weisser Realty) about 11 years ago

Hi, again, Carolyn. I love honesty.  I think today, being honest, you're on a ROLL!  Truer words were never spoken.  You're next blog should be about Members Only vs. Public . . . I read some REAL doozies with comments from me people on the public blogs:  "I train my buyers to . . . "

When I read that I quickly scrolled up to hopefully read "Members Only" . . . but didn't.  Then I thought the comment was amazingly bad, in poor taste.  (It was on a feature, no less!)  The selfish tone, and to put "I train" my buyers -- as if . . . they are "trainable," and the person's chattle ("my buyers").  We have GOT to realize that the words we use ARE powerful, they DO reflect who we are, how we think.  The "Oh, GEEZ . . . I was just kidding / joking" to cover the faux pas . . . hmmmm.  Stop bloviating people.  (present company excluded, of course!)

Remember folks, the Internet reaches many people, and while Members Only is supposedly for members, it's still very public.  C is right, by the time she reaches another room, someone in Australia could be reading this.  And is the comment I quoted above "I train my buyers to . . . " any way you want ANYONE to "read" your words?  I've been rethinking how I write, and what I say.  Talk about toning it down . . . I love you Carolyn.  You're one sharp cookie!!

P.S.  Stay out of the eastside!



Posted by Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED (RETIRED / State License is Inactive) about 11 years ago

Amen sister!

Posted by Susanne Novak, ABR, FIS, GRI (RE/MAX 24/7) about 11 years ago

A lot of good food for thought in this post and cautions well worth considering.

Posted by Christine Donovan, Broker/Attorney 714-319-9751 DRE01267479 - Costa M (Donovan Blatt Realty) about 11 years ago

Ctann, in my opinion calling another person out is NEVER right in a public forum. If something written really gets your goat, call them up and speak to them. As someone who was on the ohter end of being called out, it feels horrible.

Personally, I think posts ranting a person or post should be taken down.

Posted by Missy Caulk, Savvy Realtor - Ann Arbor Real Estate (Missy Caulk TEAM) about 11 years ago

Well now.... feel better?  I sure do!  Thanks for getting it off OUR chests for us!  You sure told 'em!   

Posted by Diane Rice, SFR, SRES, CNC ( Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL) about 11 years ago

Carolyn, I'm checking back in because it is HARSH out there this week! I commented on a post and ended up feeling like I was in a bad video game! Folks acting like they are paying attention but in "reality" it makes NO sense! Took your advice and DELETED my comment! It was misunderstood, misinterpreted or just plain not wanted. Not that I have a problem with folks not appreciating me :-) but why type your heart out to have someone completely dis you without even understanding what you wrote??! I mean SERIOUSLY!


Posted by SarahGray Lamm, Realtor - 100K Hours of NC Real Estate Experience (Allen Tate Realtors Chapel Hill, NC 919-819-8199 ) about 11 years ago

Carolyn - you ROCK.  Seriously.


As for me, well....DANG!!  I must not be spending enough time out around here 'cause I missed the EvilFest.  I guess I should feel grateful, but all I'm feeling is left OUT.


On the other hand, mean people annoy the crap out of me as well....so it's probably just as well I missed it.


Thanks for having our backs, though.  You are the best.

Posted by Coleen DeGroff, Haile Plantation Real Estate - Gainesville FL (Coldwell Banker M.M. Parrish Realtors) about 11 years ago

Gee.. I missed the whole thing! That's what I get for being out showing houses. What in the world happened? Good Excellent post, C. My mama used to say, don't do or say anything you wouldn't want to be published on the front page of the newspaper.


Posted by Dick and Dixie Sells, Realtors, Tampa Bay Florida Homes For Sale (Sells Real Estate, LLC) about 11 years ago

I am really confused as to why your post would even be necessary.  I have "walked" into posts that I just as quickly "backed" out of because I could not believe what was going on.

Why would anyone show their negativity, or bias, or political view in a community whose purpose is to enhance the participants' knowledge, toolbox, and gain contacts and friends!

I totally steer clear of those people.  They are poisonous.

Posted by Jane Peters, Los Angeles real estate concierge services (Home Jane Realty) about 11 years ago

Hi guys! Will be back shortly to respond to the rest of the comments that I missed. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Hi, Carolyn. I've backed out of posts, too, because it seemed that further comments would just muddy the waters. I try to keep my posts and my comments positive and I am ALWAYS mindful that my competitors may read what I write.

Posted by Leslie Helm, Real Estate For Trail Riders (Tennessee Recreational Properties) about 11 years ago

Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry to hear that there is anyone here that's doing anything like that. It's such a nice sandbox to play in, and one rotten apple can spoil the entire box! (To mix metaphors.) I've been fortunate  to have only run into extremely nice and helpful people. And sometimes, I do put out a request for help and feel very vunerable. Let's hope your post is read by "those people" and it brings about a complete and total change of heart.

Posted by Marianne Snygg, ABR, ASP, GRI, SFR (ERA Herman Group Real Estate) about 11 years ago

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