C Tann-Starr's Outside Blog


Wordy C on Simple Reminders: (1) Safety First and (2) Monitor Your Mouth

Wordy C on Simple Reminders: Safety First and Monitor Your Mouth

I can not speak for, or make wild assumptions about the majority of on-line users because I do not know them. Some people are trustworthy and well-intentioned while others simply are not. People make up their minds daily... Minute by minute, second by second, they decide what they are going to do, who they are going to do it with, see or speak to and how they are going to say what ever it is that is on their mind.

When you are planning on creating your own version of an ActiveRain Road Trip to hook up with Rainers my advice to you is to know the person's blog. Intimately. Spend time with them on a daily, weekly or monthly basis so you can be sure that this is the virtual person you want to be brick and mortar friends with.

ActiveRain is a very unique place and the human interactions facilitated through the forums have been some of the most fascinating on-line experiences I have ever had. I am unaware of any specific incidence of violence between Rainers and will not speculate about a crime having been committed because I have read blog posts were Realtors have witnessed the arrests of other Realtors. As they are on-going investigations in progress, one would be wise not to assume people are automatically guilty. People are innocent until proved guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and it is very easy to get arrested. All it takes is a phone call and an accusation with another person being willing to press charges.

When dealing with both sides of the equation, you do not know what their intentions are or were. You do not know what mistakes have and have not been made. Please do not be so quick to condemn any human being because they have had the misfortune of being arrested or charged with a crime. The jury is still out and deliberations are on-going.

If you are going to make friends with a person, then make friends with them because you genuinely like them, flaws and all. Friends don't run when friends get into trouble. Friends don't run when friends get sick, divorced, destitute, or any other drama that embellishes a life. You can yell, scream, fight, love, rant, rave, cry, laugh and commiserate with a friend. When you do that enough on-line and feel such a connection or bond with them, then by all means go on your AR Road Trip and enjoy your new brick and mortar. If you can't handle the whole person when they show you who they are, don't go for something to blog about, go blog about something else and keep your car parked where ever you left it. Let people have some dignity if they mistakenly choose to tell you something they obviously should not have. These people have family and friends to. Monitor your mouth... put yourself in their shoes. Maybe they reached out to you because of who they think you are rather than what and who you really are. It's not just their life, it is also your on-line reputation at stake here.

Being a Rainer means you take the community rules with you. They don't stay on your blog post. They stay with you.

I meet Rainers all the time and rarely ever tell you guys a thing. Why? I am making real friends. I don't feel the need to prove that I have been in someone's home, hung out nor feel a need to constantly announce my hook ups. I didn't create the term as a writing tool. I simply called it what it was. There are some friends I constantly tease and we have so many people in common of course we playfully blog about getting together and our friends, family and readers all love hearing the fact that we have a wonderful time together. I threaten to invade states all the time (and frequently do - LOL) however, all people deserve the right to keep their private life private and if you receive an invitation to meet another Rainer you must always make sure it is okay for you to share with the public what you have done. Don't be quick to post pictures and blog about it. Ask ahead of time before you even meet so the person can be prepared and pick outings appropriate for mutual eye candy moments.

Never assume you have the right to simply publish what ever you want about someone else's private life. Watch your mouth. You have no idea how your mouth on your blog may affect them and their home life. If this is your friend then take care of them. If this is a budding relationship, take extra special care because it is new to you both. There is a lot neither of you know about the other. You have to be careful because you may be inadvertently blabbing someone else's secrets...

A final word to my lovely Newb Rainers: take common sense precautions and treat on-line people as you would off-line people on a first date. When meeting someone new for the first time:

1. Insist on a public meeting place like your office, Starbucks, Barnes and Nobles, a museum, the local pizza joint, etc.

2. Tell a friend or family member where you're going and who you are meeting (print their profile page out and give it to them).

3. Take your cell phone along and borrow a damn phone if you do not have one. Crap happens. My kid floats mine in the toilet all the time (LOL).

4. Consider having your entire family or a few friends accompany you. After all, you have no idea who the other person may be bringing. You may find you actually have several Rainers popping over because one person is tweeting their location (LOL). Think I am kidding? I'm not. Been there, had a blast and met a whole bunch of people I had no idea were coming over (LMAO). ;-)

5. Trust your instincts. If you really don't like their comments or writing don't feel obligated to meet with them. Just because they are flying into the area on business and need some time to kill don't let random people  indiscriminately look you up. Have you heard of them before? What do you know about them? No profile picture? How do you even know it's really them? No blog posts just random commenting? You should only spend time with people you are curious about and want to really be with. 2 million plus people read this site. Do you know 2 million people? I don't. I routinely turn offers down because I have a healthy sense of self preservation (LMAO). Have I blown deals behind it? Abso-freaking-lutely. Guess what? Still alive and can sleep at night. (Okay, so I actually nap - LOL). ;-)

I have a really long list but I think you guys are starting to get the picture.

Why did I write this? Because some of the people I am mentoring have questions on how to do this and their prospective friends have issues. I have flaws and issues myself, so I think people should be given a chance to prove themselves to you and you should prove who you really are to them. Talking to someone in the middle of a divorce does not make you the other woman, it makes you the friend they are confiding in because they need a friend... If you feel like the other woman then maybe your intentions are at issue and not his.

If you are going to meet someone know why you want to meet them. You do not need to check with me to find out if a reason is okay. Thank you for placing your trust in me. Now go trust yourself. You need to be comfortable with your actions. If you are uncomfortable, then trust your instincts and hold off until you are at peace and excited about your trip. Never feel obligated. Polite can get you hurt. Say NO and mean it.

Be honest people. This is real life... not just trolling for business or playing social media games so you can lie to your friends about having a fantasy Facebook date with one of my hot Realtor girlfriends... Cyberspace is a small place. You will be found out so watch your mouth or you will trigger a response from people like me. If you read my blog then you should be well aware of the fact that I am very protective of my bay-bays. I know more than you think.

If I know something, you can bet your bottom dollar that other people know as well... Friends talk among themselves. Just sayin... Enjoy your life in the Rain and be safe. Love, C. :-)

Disclaimer: Any comments and contributions provided on ActiveRain.com (or other electronic or print media) does not establish an agency relationship with any third party. Blog posts are intended to be informational only. Please be advised that real estate practices vary in regions and from state to state and market to market. The information contained herein does not constitute legal advice. All parties in need of legal, accounting, tax, or real estate guidance are directed to consult with the licensed professional of their choice. Please seek specific guidance from a retained professional in the specific field(s) required to service your interests. I and/or team blog writers make no claims, promises or guarantees about the accuracy, completeness, or adequacy of the information contained in or linked to this web site and its associated sites inclusive of but not limited to CarolynTannStarr.com MySpace/TannStarr 46486 NY Working Moms Examiner ActiveRain Group Club Chaos ClubChaosAgents.com CyberMinions.net CTannStarr Outside Blog CTannStarr Localism Blog TannStarr.net UberMental.com

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Comment balloon 34 commentsC Tann-Starr • September 07 2009 06:38PM


Boy you got this so right C. I have an entire counterculture (and that word is used deliberately, haha) of online friends and a lot of people would be amazed who REALLY knows who. And watch what they say online more. ;)

I will tell you a lil story of an online friend I knew -- who I and many others believed to be a highly educated professional of a certain age group with a certain resume. It was a COMPLETE AND TOTAL FABRICATION.

He was good. Kept it all straight for nearly a year.

Only when there was going to be an in person meet/greet did he confess to 'some' of the lies. From there, it was easy to find out the rest. Resources are my thing. :) And there are more resourceful than I moving thru the bandwidth.

Posted by Candice A. Donofrio, 928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text (Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker) about 11 years ago

Candice, my love, being retired law enforcement I have busted more people in their bull than I would care to ever reveal (LOL). Paralegals routinely do legal investigations under the supervision of an attorney. When you are an independent contractor like me, you tend to work for several client firms and each one trains you as to how they want their packages done.

People have no idea just how much information is out there waiting to be collected from cyberspace. Why pretend to be something that you are not? It will be found out one way or the other. I think that is why I just talk about what's on my mind and call it a day. I don't say expert even if I am really really good at doing certain things. I don't say I have what I don't have. I am the first person to say I have issues. I lay it out there and keep moving.

Pretenders hurt people. When people buy into the false image, they are investing in a phantom friend. That is not fair to anyone. Just be yourself. Let people like you for you and let the ones who don't like you go find someone else to play with.

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Phantom friend. Amen to that.

And in cyberspace there is also a lot of false information as well as true.

I've seen some info on me. I'm younger than I really am in some accounts. I don't know where they got that. I'm proud to have survived as long as I have. (only old people say this) HAHAHA!

I hope a LOT of people take the time to read this, C!  :)

Posted by Candice A. Donofrio, 928-201-4BHC (4242) call/text (Next Wave RE Investments LLC Bullhead City AZ Commercial RE Broker) about 11 years ago

Candice, so far my e-mail has been off the hook hilarious (ROTFLMAO). Oh how I wish they would post in the comments section, but alas they are shy to confess these things in public. Seems people count on my ability to misbehave and speak for them. I accept (LOL). It appears that I shall enjoy this post for days to come. (ROTFL). ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Excellent AR Primer material.... should be required reading for newbies!  I could have used this when i first joined in 2006.... was green, wet behind ears, naive, too emotional, and too trusting.... etc.

This ninny has grown since then.... but much more stuff is still to learn... This is a GOLD STAR mentionable!

I have booked - marked this homework!  Thanks "teach" !

Posted by Diane Rice, SFR, SRES, CNC ( Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL) about 11 years ago

Hi Diane! Good to see you here and glad you found it useful. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

C good rules for the road.  Today I met up with a Realtor facebook friend who I only knew from facebook.  He was driving from Texas and updated his status telling me to wave as he and his wife were driving by.  I posted for them to stop and have a cool drink.. my family was home and I had seen his profile and his posts and had actually hijacked him from a friend in SM.  He stopped we had a great time, made a video.. he posted from his cell phone pictures and I posted from my cell phone pictures and we made a video.  It was so funny as he talks about all the dumb stuff he had read about my new washer and dryer.. and pictures from my deck.. so it was a great experience... Last week the meet up at the activerain event was great too.. I met Anna banana and Heather Chavez and it was all good.  I think reading the profiles and the remarks gives a good insight as to WHO the person is.  Best to be safe! 

Your friend in the Cosmic Cow Pie

Posted by Carra Riley & Declan Kenyon, Helping people Transition at all ages! (Brokers Guild Cherry Creek Ltd) about 11 years ago

Carra, that was mad cow cool (LOL). I do this all the time and always love to hear when the Club Chaos bay-bays get together and have a great time. AWESOME! Social media can be a great adventure if one doesn't squander stellar opportunities. Have fun and be safe sweetie. Pssssst... show me the eye candy!!!  The other Club Chaos C from the Cosmic Cow Pie gang. (LOL) ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Carolyn, I do not know how I missed this excellent post! In your own inmitible style, you have laid it out so well and after it's all said, we do have to remember:

"Be honest people. This is real life..."

This should be featured!

Posted by Russell Lewis, Broker,CLHMS,GRI (Realty Austin, Austin Texas Real Estate) about 11 years ago

It's such a pleasure to read both this post, and the one that got me here:


In my younger years, in my late teens-early 20's I was a prolific poet.  I have over 100 registered with the Library of Congress.  That Muse has left the building, but during that time I just wrote poem after poem.  All that to say this, I even remember some of them, and one in particular.  A very short poem, entitled "Caution"

And here is my poem:  "Friends pretend."  All of two words. After reading yours and Candice's blog, that poem came to mind. 

Posted by Carla Muss-Jacobs, RETIRED (RETIRED / State License is Inactive) about 11 years ago

Russell, thank you for the kind words. Very much appreciated. I love mentoring my newb writers and the Ambassador program is really cool. I've been answering a lot of e-mail in public lately because I want them to do well and feel comfortable talking about what ever they want to me and the other Ambassadors. I also felt a lot of things needed to be said outright rather than hinted at. I may not have been here as long as others, but I do love my virtual home and hope as we all grow together people will be bold enough to speak in their true voices rather than stick to what they deem is politically correct. This place is so much more than a a real estate network. Friendships bloom here every single day. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Carla, thank you for the link. I just got finished reading what Candice had to say and loved every minute of it. I would love to read some of your work, Please send me more information about it. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago
C-I'm on vacation so am playing catch-up. If this hasn't been featured, it should be a must reading for not only AR newbies but, just about everyone. I've not been blogging long but I do feel as if I have many new AR friends. But all I really know about them is what I've learned through their posts and their comments. So, we should all follow what you said. Treat this as we would any other new situation in today's world. Just because we feel we may know someone, we may not, but also that doesn't give us license to presume we know them or can speak for them.
Posted by Kathy Streib, Home Stager - Palm Beach County,FL -561-914-6224 (Room Service Home Staging) about 11 years ago

Kathy, it took me a long time to make friends. My first friend actually found me: Melody Botting. I remember trying to figure out why she wanted to be friends with me. I was sooooo stupid back then. Why wouldn't someone want to be friends with me? Duh? I'm not completely evil (LOL).

I didn't get blogging or social media. I do now. What a difference a day can make. She took me under her protection, started mentoring me, wrote a formal introduction for me on-line and invited me to hang out on-line with her and her friends so I could discover what it meant to be a player in the Rain. If you are going to play in the Rain you have to want to play every single day. It wasn't just about advertising. It was and is so much more.

Those friends introduced me to their friends. After a while I was hanging out with the same 65 people in AR all the time. I would crave having contact with these people during the course of my day because they were witty, smart, hard working people with issues not afraid to share what had gone wrong so I wouldn't make the same mistakes. They didn't hide their flaws and it made me not hide mine.I absolutely love them.

We would e-mail each other every day and say which posts we would be hanging out on and at what times so we could meet up morning afternoon and late night. We jacked so many blogs together using AR like our own personal twitter stream (between friends) that one night Amanda Hall quipped if we did this every night it would be Club Chaos. I told her I could do something with that (because I loved the idea of being with them every single night) and created the group the very next day so we could actually do it every single night (LOL). I  sent out 100 invites and my 65 peeps all showed up within three days.

We've been jacking-blogs and hanging out on-line every single day since. We grow the group very slowly because people need time to figure out who other people are. We actively monitor every single writer. I read a lot more than I comment because it is impossible for me to comment on all 800 plus writers.

We habitually look for each other every single day so as you make friends you will subscribe to the blogs of people you would like to be friendly with. This group is all about 6 degrees of separation. Relationships matter here. Some of the best third party invitations I have ever received come from ActiveRain and Club Chaos.

Friends are the family you get to choose for yourself so take your time and choose wisely. The great thing about groups is that when you subscribe to them and spend enough time in them you will gravitate towards people you think you like  just as they will be attracted towards you. All it takes is one comment to get someone's attention. Having an honest conversation is the only way to go if you want to make true friends. Picking up the phone to say hello is usually the next step when you spend enough time chatting with a person. :-)

The first time I met Susan Mangigian I pulled out all of my picture identification in her kitchen and made her look at my retirement shield, gun permit, Realtor license, driver's license (LOL). She thought I was crazy. I thought that if I told someone I was retired law enforcement and they were letting me into their home with their children present I'd better prove that I was a safe visitor (LMAO). I made my hubby pull his shield out too. He was still an active officer at the time. We wanted to impress upon her kid that she took the dangers of meeting someone on-line very seriously. We respect and value her hospitality and friendship. People lie sometime. I wanted there to be no mistake that I am who I say I am and that I have done the things that I have confessed to doing here.

You may want to check out the Memes people have written to get some sense of who they are. My first Meme ever was from Paddy Pizappi who wanted to know more about me. That was fun. It may have been the first time I realized that blogging really could be fun (LOL). :-)

When I realized blogging should be fun and not a chore, I dumped a whole bunch of groups I had no business being in and joined Whacked and Jacked (LMAO).

It was very liberating to have on-line friends tell you to just be yourself. People were b*tched out about the fact that my comments were so funny across the forums but my blog posts were so boring. It was like two people were talking instead of one. Once I realized I shouldn't be what people expected, I should just be me and tell them to flip off if they don't like it - I never looked back. I am a huge advocate of writers finding their true voices. We talk so much among ourselves that Club Chaos took 13 days to make it into the top ten and we have yet to leave page one of the groups section. It's not that we are trying to stay. We stay because every day people meet their friends here and have conversations. We share what ever we want to share and expect to be brought up to date with what we've been up to.

New listing? New market report? New shoes? New cat? New dog? Car accident? Hagen Daz? If you share it, we'll be reading and smiling. Don't worry about the comments. Keep looking at the views on your stat pages. Someone is always checking in to see what's up. When you least expect it we'll be jacking your blog so we can hang out live and talk (LOL). That's the way we roll here. ;-)

That's why the group description is so silly in a nice way and we don't blog for points. We blog to talk. From William Shakespeare to Dr Seuss? You can't get any wider spectrum of welcome for writing under one virtual roof than that (LOL). How could one not fit in here?  It takes a lot of bad behavior to get thrown out of this group. So far I have whacked 41 people. Bummer... Each was a very hard decision. 3 left on their own and never came back. They were part of the I am more professional than you and do not belong in this group police. Oh well... Can't please everyone... Don't try to. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

This is so important!  The internet can be a very dangerous place and you can't believe someone is who they say they are.  I have only met a couple of Rainers in person and I did my homework before meeting up with them.  Great advice for any member!

Posted by Sharon Tara, New Hampshire Home Stager (Sharon Tara Transformations) about 11 years ago

Thank you Sharon. I had several people ask me to bounce this post back up to the top so I did. So many people are e-mailing me wonderful examples of how they were wronged regarding this subject that I was determined to write on the subject.

What I didn't expect was the flood of e-mails I would get once it published. Wow... I really wish they would write what they are telling me in confidence in the comments section. It would really help so many other people because they are true stories... Incredibly interesting as well... I have been howling with laughter at a couple. Oh my word... you just can't make stuff like that up (LOL).

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Carolyn, Thankfully I have met nothing but nice people from the Internet but I am cautious!  Blogging buddies have fortunately turned out to be just what they present online.  So I'll continue to stay cautious and thank you for the reminder that we ALL need to be careful!

Posted by Laura Cerrano, Certified Feng Shui Expert, Speaker & Researcher (Feng Shui Manhattan Long Island) about 11 years ago

Carole, thank goodness. I pray that everyone stays safe. It is important to realize some people are not who they seem. One should always stay cautious. I've met a lot of wonderful people through social media and really look forward to meeting so many more. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

C- I dunno about treating rainers like first dates. ewww!

Posted by Greg Nino, Houston, Texas (RE/MAX Compass, formerly RE/MAX WHP) about 11 years ago

C - I have only met 2 Rainers in person and that was at ReBar Camp. You make a very valid point. It is far too easy to become a member of any online social network and anyone with good writing skills could weave a very deceptive web. Just take a look at the weirdos that show up as unsolicited unwanted followers on Twitter! It can be down right scary.

This is great advice for all members, not just newbies. Thanks for your wordy advice - it is always worth the read. ;-)

Posted by Judy Jennings, Tap into Judy's real estate expertise & resources. (Top Agent Plus) about 11 years ago


One of your best posts ever ... a must read for all members and Internet users in general.

Featured in the Group "Whacked!!!"

Posted by Richard Weisser, Richard Weisser Retired Real Estate Professional (Richard Weisser Realty) about 11 years ago


Very good post we can never be too safe in today's world one of the things i always do

when i leave office is to pretty much announce where i am going so if something happens you will at

least have starting point.

Now for the mouth God gave us two ears two eyes and nose he gave us one mouth for a reason

we are unable to control it been a rainer a little while still a newbie still not ready for solid food yet.


Posted by John Douglas (Berkshire Hathaway HomServices Partners Realty) about 11 years ago

Your list of precautions is spot on and makes me think about all those CSI/NCIS shows... seriously though you are right use common sense there are some odd folks floating around the Internet...

BTW- hope you are well it has been a while since we last chatted.  Probably more my fault than anything else.

Posted by Josef Katz, {Marketing Maestro} (Digital and Direct Response Marketing) about 11 years ago

"Just because they are flying into the area on business and need some time to kill don't let random people  indiscriminately look you up."  LMAO. I guess I passed the test somewhere.  Or did you have someone tailing us just in case?

Posted by Erik Hitzelberger, Louisville - Middletown Real Estate (RE/MAX Alliance - Louisville REALTOR-Luxury Homes) about 11 years ago

Great points all of them, Miss C.  If I come out to your area, can I look you up indiscriminately or do I need to make a reservation?  :)  Sounds like you're a busy little bee.  I grew up in a family where we always let someone know where we were going, with whom and when we planned on being back because you never know what's going to happen.  It drives my husband nuts that I insist on continuing this, but I don't care.  And, my son has been brought up to always let me know where he's going and to have his cell phone on him at all times, even when we are all going out as a family.  Again, you never know what's going to happen.  I agree.  This should be a feature.

Posted by Heather Chavez, Real Estate Virtual, Assistant (928) 692-3235 (Second Self Virtual Assistance) about 11 years ago

Heather, I would love to see you and would be totally disappointed if you passed through and didn't let me know. You're on my bucket list (LOL).

Erik, I absolutely love you and your blog. You're one of my fave bay-bays! I'd drop everything to pick you up from the airport or spend 15 minutes (LOL). You come back in to NYC you better tell me (LMAO).I will be in KY for a visit soon and shall be staying at the Bennett House. Gotta see you and Lizette. Will let you know the dates as soon as I talk a couple of out of state Rainers into meeting me there. Melodious is mad busy right now so I have to wait. Cindy has a time share and we're babbling about doing a week in TX together. It's a 12 hour drive for me to KY so I have to figure out who to visit midway so I can have fun during lunch and dinner for my sleepover (LOL). If Mel can come it'll be a perfect getaway because Cindy and I can simply follw her back to TX (LMAO). We are still connecting the road trip dots on that one... ;-)

Josef, my dearest friend, not your fault at all. I have been all over the map dealing with REOs from hell and life's little dramas. Will call you at a decent hour later on today. I'm going to the gym to work out some latent aggression (LOL). I know, I now, waaaay to early in the morning... We've been up since 6:30 EST and my e-mail has my eyes crossed (LOL). Did I mention RE is crazy? I'm going to take a time out so we can catch up. Will let you know when I am in Manhattan. :-)

John, you keep safe and you take your time so you can enjoy being a Rainer. There are a lot of beautiful people here. Enjoy them. :-)

Judy, you've just reminded me to go purge those XXX followers with the horrid avatars. How do they get away with some of those things? Seriously... Twitter avatar spam is the worst. At least you're not subject to their stream simply by not following people. Blocking them is time consuming... Oh well... part of social media hell I guess. We all know you can't have a Heaven without a Hell (LOL).

ROTFLMAO @ Greg. Too funny! ;-)


Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

Richard, thank you for the feature in Whacked and for your kind words. Very much appreciated. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

C, what a great post! I feel this is a huge responsibility, to have online friends. Not only to myself, but to the people I am making friends with. My best friend (no joke) I met online in an AOL chat room years ago. We did have a 3rd friend in the mix, but it was a disaster when this person showed up at each of our homes and was totally nutty. That gave me a very good perspective on making online friends, LOL. 

I love to be here, my own voice grows, I would rather laugh than cry, I look forward each and every day to my "friends" leaving comments and to me reading their "stuff". Activerain is awesome! But you know, I realize that the person on the other end may not be who they say they are. Checking up is ok, but you can only check so much. 

When I first came here I saw a few things that made me very uncomfortable. I read a post exposing a phone call from another member who was in dire straits. The tone was, who cares, why did they call me, if you can't get a grip on the market, tough luck. I was shocked, and shocked at the responses. I stayed away for a day or 2 thinking about this. I was actually concerned for the safety of the exposed member because from what I read, this person could have been extremely depressed. I don't know that for sure, because I don't know if the phone call really happened. 

Reading back over this persons posts told me this was not a person I care to associate with. Duh, stay away. Easy. There are people like that everywhere, I avoid them in RL and should have known just walk away online too. I can say, this is not the norm I have found here on AR. I avoid the group that are the bullys, the puffers, just like I do in RL. Hey, I am sure they don't like me either! They probably think my posts are stupid, or worthless, but who cares! 

I have so enjoyed finding my voice, making my friends, meeting a few 'rainers already. So far so good. I was smart about it. OK, maybe not with the last 'rainer I met, as I went right into her house, then onto a boat with her, LOL. But believe me, I had already checked her online as I hope she did with me. And actually, well before I even imagined I would meet with her. I want to know MORE about people I plan to play with online. I go to their websites, I google, I check things out. It is the smart way to find out if indeed this is someone you want to play with. 

Be smart, be safe, be yourself, be honest. In real life and online.And be true to yourself and your voice! Nothing more needs to be said!


Posted by Andrea Swiedler, Realtor, Southern Litchfield County CT (Berkshire Hathaway HomeServices New England Properties) about 11 years ago

Andrea, you've made my day. Playing in the Rain is a beautiful thing. I've been amazed and humbled by the friends that I collect here. Information, just like knowledge, can be a very dangerous thing in the wrong person's hands. I have seen it, been a third party virtual witness, and deal with it daily. Some disputes are very intricate and complicated because betrayal is painful. If people are going to withdraw from a relationship I advise them to do so with dignity and honor even if you are angry with the other person. 

Most people when they calm down regret burning those bridges later on because hurting people frequently look for ways to hurt the person who harmed them back.

When you mix business with pleasure the lines become blurred. Mature people handle it well. Then there are the immature people who shock and surprise you because you didn't know they had it in them to behave so badly (LOL). I'm naughty upfront so expectations tend to be lowered where I am concerned ROTFLMAO). People are usually surprised that I a lot more complicated than they expected. I'm very well read for someone who draws cartoons and uses slang all the time (LOL).

Enjoy your new friendships in the Rain. Just remember to keep your eyes out for wolves in sheep's clothing. They are here. They are everywhere... ;-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

C - The Bennett House should be really nice.  Definitely let me know when you head this way. 

Posted by Erik Hitzelberger, Louisville - Middletown Real Estate (RE/MAX Alliance - Louisville REALTOR-Luxury Homes) about 11 years ago

C., i went back and re-read this post, absorbing more than the initial time (not all the comments yet), and concluded that your wisdom and common sense should yank folks out of their "la la land" mentality IF they would bother to read!  We can all learn from this.... personally i feel a bit like a kid being parented... but DO UNDERSTAND that a wise person will HEAR, and increase knowledge.  I have an ear to hear..... keep preaching feeding teaching us hunnie, we are all ears! 


Posted by Diane Rice, SFR, SRES, CNC ( Rice Prprty Mgmnt & Rlty, LLC, South Holland, IL) about 11 years ago

Will do, Erik. I have been plotting with Melodious for a while now. :-)

Diane, thank you for the kind words. They are very much appreciated. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

C - Tremendous food for thought!  I had to read this all because your posts and comments are always so spot on!  I truly never thought of these issues!  We live in small town Northern Nevada!  I guess I'm too naive!  Anyway! thanks for a wonderful job!

Posted by Lisa Wetzel, CDPE, SFR carsonvalleyland.com (RE/MAX Realty Affiliates) about 11 years ago

Lisa, thank you for the kind words, they are very much appreciated. :-)

Posted by C Tann-Starr (Tann Starr & Associates, Inc.) about 11 years ago

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