CyberMinions.net The Illustrated Dictionary of Chaos
So here I am seated at my drafting table watching my seven year old typing frantically into Google. Every so often he would stop, look over his shoulder at me with an evil look, then furtively start typing again, alternating looking at the keyboard and screen. Now, you gotta admit that alone is enough to make this cheeky Mama want to go over there and check my shortie out but he's seven, speech delayed and obsessed with computers so I try not to interrupt his allotted time. The kid is a stickler about his routines. I do not want to ruin any fun for my son because discovering search engines gave him the incentive to memorize sight words, but that was an evil look. Hmm... wonder what he was thinking... I am very happy that the Internet is teaching my Autistic son how to type while he learns how to read but you have to watch your kids like a hawk when they are transversing the world wide web. Even the three year old gets jiggy with his cybertude sometimes.
Microsoft Office 2003 is one of Noah's favorite programs. He calls it "counting" because he first learned how to count by playing with me on the keyboards. I would pop huge numbers up and off the screen by typing in MS Word. Pretty soon he was kicking me to the curb and typing the numbers in himself.
Ever wonder how you sound to someone else? My son is a mimic who alternates between conducting class, then attending the class he is conducting (LOL). Sometimes his three year old brother is high-jacked as the student. Echolalic speech can be a hoot when your kid does both sides of the conversation at the same time. If you are bossy, your inflections and attitude will be mocked and emulated. You can learn a lot about your bad mouth habits when the wee ones start quoting you (LOL).
Since Stephen loves Noah, he tries to do what ever his big brother says. Sometimes with unexpected results... Yesterday we had to reset the modem. Our mistake? Doing it in front of the wee people. What was I thinking? Seriously? Every time I turn around I either lose power or lose the connection. Dude even started jacking around with the wide area network router because he suddenly realized those blinky, flickering lights were "pretty." The three year old is speech delayed as well (which may shock you with all the background noise he is able to generate while I'm on the phone), so you get a lot of really short sentences of four words or less. The few words he does knows, he knows them very well and wields them with great volume and spunky attitude.
Today was mad fun because I'm working from home. So far my morning consisted of enjoying watching Stephen wreck the place while giggling and yelling "mine," when he wasn't chasing me all about the apartment to inventory and count hot wheel cars. At some point he decided playing with my hair was going to be his fave exercise in self stimulation (LOL). When he realized I was working more than playing, that soon morphed into feeding the DVD peanut butter and jelly.
Had to time the shorty out. He starts acting cute and giggling all over the place, making eyes and planting kisses, really making nice, so I let him off the hook. I'm thinking baby is making nice and I'm busy so let him frolic because a happy toddler means I can play in the Rain. Big mistake. Dude is loading his food into my toilet. Now I'm doing the stern Mama routine and march hm off to the crib for another time out, shutting down the electronics while fussing, "No choo choo for you. Thomas the Train is all done. Don't feed food to the electronics and stay out of my toilet bowl."
He cries. We make up. He plays in my hair. He chases me around the apartment showing me his prized possessions while giggling and telling me quite proudly that everything is mine. All is right with the world because my sweetie is in Daffy Duck mode and that usually goes on for hours. Distracted, I give him some orange juice because he's my guy pie and that's what he wants... Hmm... What the hell was I thinking? Never give a marginally supervised three year old liquid if he's obsessing over sharing a meal with his favorite electronics. Seriously.
Remember that PB&J moment? I thought we were done with that... I guess I was wrong because while I was on a conference call Stephen the Minion Blur realized I was a wee bit distracted from watching a very cool presentation, so he got it into his tiny little mind to make a "ritual sacrifice" to my computer. What's a little orange juice between electronic friends when you're having fun, eh?
Oh my word... Dude almost disconnected my blogger's butt for the rest of the evening. However, I caught the little gigglemeister seconds before any major damage could be done to anything besides the rug. He looked so disappointed I almost choked trying to play it down and not howl with laughter. Friggin' kid broke the mute button weeks ago (LMAO).
Did I mention my kids are crazy? Life with wee people can be very interesting...
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